New Year New Resolve

 

The Effort is the Point for New Year's Resolutions

Today is the second day of 2023 and I’m optimistic about my future.

Resolutions are for chumps. That used to be my motto. Easier to make small changes in habits throughout the year and see success. It’s easier to change simple things and stick to it, than to make grand plans and fall flat. I remember wanting to stop dipping tobacco a few years ago. I made a resolution to quit for good. After a week or so I fell apart and went back to my can per day habit. Setting a goal and failing to meet it is one of the most soul crushing feelings a person can imagine. Not meeting your goal is a reminder of your “loser” status. What made you think that this time would be different? All the times I’d tried to quit and failed, but this was different?

Why? because the calendar turned over?

Risk Averse Behavior

Making any resolution reminds us that there is still a longing in our hearts for better. Even when the results are universally bad. Most people break whatever good intensions they had after a week or two. This isn’t a winning strategy, but it’s better than never improving or pretending that you don’t need to. Before my tobacco effort I didn’t make resolutions. It was a defensive reaction to prevent an inevitable letdown. “If I don’t commit, I can’t be disappointed” is the risk averse attitude.

 When I finally made myself accountable for quitting it did two things. One, it forced me to deal with the problem at hand. Two, it created a new habit of working through problems instead of ignoring them. Success came later. I never got over anything on the first try, but the effort was the point. Getting up after a failure is tough but it’s the only way.

Failure isn’t shameful if it forces you to try again.

Negatives and Positives

Not all resolutions are negatives, meaning removing something harmful, many are positive. A positive is something you add, like a routine or healthy habit. Goals to increase the number of books read per year, or number of days at the gym would be positive resolutions. Since the tobacco experience I’ve added healthy habits like eating fruits and vegetables and subtracted other negative ones, like alcohol. The key is to keep trying.

One of my favorite verses is found in Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” Too often we think resolutions fall on our shoulders completely. But all of need help at some time. A serious change in habit is too important to take on yourself. Allow God to work on your heart and direct your steps. Don’t get frustrated if you fall down either.

Heart Issues

Why do we expect to be perfect with new habits when nothing else in life works that way? How many new skills did you learn on the first try? I still can’t seem to fry pancakes right, forget chicken marsala or beef wellington. Ever tried riding a bike as a kid? How many times did you crash before you felt comfortable riding without training wheels?

Changing habitual behavior is a skill in itself. It takes time to get into a groove. New Year resolutions should encourage us to work on our trust in God. Our own understanding of behavior is often wrong. We don’t need to just lose weight, we need to deal with why we eat so much extra food. Often it’s not just laziness or access. Maybe you need to start speaking positive (biblical) truths about your future, instead of negative speech.

 These are heart issues that only God can sort out. He will show you if you lean on Him. But don’t forget to acknowledge Him for the victory. I never accomplished anything difficult without leaning into God for guidance. Because of that, I always point to Him for my success.

Conclusion

I did eventually quit dipping tobacco. I don’t remember if it was in the same calendar year as my resolution or the next year. But I trusted in the Heavenly Father and kept moving forward. We honor God when we allow Him to change us into His image.

Don’t trash resolutions. Find something to improve and pray about how to start.