The Story We Tell Ourselves

I work out at a gym that tries to entice non-gym goers into feeling comfortable with their surroundings. Messages that discourage muscle-head type grunting adorn the walls in bright purple while a siren lights up when weightlifters drop dumbbells too loudly. The building is full of treadmills and cardio machines, televisions and even tanning beds; it is light on free weights and bar bells to keep the hard-core weightlifters out and promote a type of 'everyman' ethic to the surrounding. This level of softening the rough edges of the workout community is meant to gain in-roads into the occasional gym goer but instead encourages a false sense of reality among the overly self-conscious. In order to believe the environment is safe for working out, (i.e. no insulting meat-heads will notice how ridiculous and out of shape you are) you must believe that in a normal situation those buff weight lifters would criticize and mock you. I imagine most people have some level of body consciousness that leads them to feel like others are judging them, whether at the pool or in the summer when many wear shorts and sleeveless shirts. Feeling like it's true doesn't make it so however, and by tapping into fears about self-consciousness and creating a narrative around a non-issue is dishonest.
 It is impossible to tell what a person is thinking at a given time but assuming that everyone is looking at you and judging you for your lack of a noticeable diet and for having a dumpy body is quite narcissistic. I've been a member at a gym in most places I've lived and I was heavier in college both because I lifted weights and also because of diet (beer and pizza). Some of my friends back then could have been considered meat-heads, guys who spend hours in the gym getting ripped and taking supplements to increase the size of whatever muscle group was being targeted that week. Some were vain and some were not, I can't remember any of them giving a damn about out of shape people at the gym trying to improve themselves. If anything, they were too focused on themselves and whatever training program or carb cycle they were on at the time. Sometimes the story you tell yourself is a fiction no one has read. I understand how marketing works, take a view about the world that many people share and exploit it for maximum profit. This sounds like a cynical take on all advertising but it is really just a way to understand selling and being sold to. Notice I didn't write 'take a view about the world that is TRUE and exploit it for maximum profit'. I am not picking on the fitness industry, gyms are more utilitarian than they used to be. One used to have to choose between the racquetball clubs with saunas or the weightlifting facilities like Gold's Gym that catered to specific groups. The mixed use clubs of today are more family friendly and encourage new types of exercise and class courses like zumba. Don't buy into the non-sense that everyone is snickering at your flabby stomach and laughing like high school bullies who just yanked some kids pants down during orientation. Fear not, be yourself, try new routines.

Traditional Marriage

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/422391/ryan-anderson-gay-marriage

I don't know who this author Ryan Anderson is but I enjoyed the short Q&A about his book on the future of marriage to American culture. To sum up, Marriage is an idea that has made sense between males and females across all racial, religious, and historic periods of time for many obvious reasons including raising children. He mentions some of the contradiction in societal beliefs and current laws, for instance, how can Americans say fathers matter in the lives of children and in the same breath make them optional? I am interested in how he thinks the country got to this point where marriage is redefined in the highest court. Mostly though I want to hear his prescription for those who don't agree with the Supreme Court from a moral or legal perspective on how to turn the cultural ship around. Understanding how we got here isn't as important as knowing how to get out.