Crazy Rich Asians: Book Review

 I remember seeing title before and thinking “Is it ‘crazy rich’ like filthy rich, or ‘crazy’ and ‘rich’ like Tom Cruise?” Turns out it’s a little of both. I described to a friend as Downton Abby with Chinese characteristics. Obviously there is a whole lot wrong with that description but it’s a starting point. Where the British show had a 2 part aristocrats and their ‘help’ feel, Asians is about the aristocrats only.  The story is modern day and mostly takes place in Singapore where a lot of ethnic Chinese live. There is history of wealthy Chinese leaving the mainland after the Japanese invaded in 1931, but that’s a post for another day.  

I can’t tell how much of this fictional account is true to form. In other words, is the wealth really that grand, million dollar shopping trips and 2 million dollar earrings? Or is it an exaggeration to emphasize a lifestyle that almost no one reading it can relate to? 

Here is the story in a nutshell. An American woman (Rachel) goes to meet the family of her wealthy boyfriend (Nick) at the occasion of a wedding for Nick’s closest friend.  The twist is that she doesn’t know how fabulously rich his family is or how nasty they are. She gets blindsided by an all-out assault from relatives and hangers on. Nick doesn’t exactly prepare her for the world he is bringing her into. Partly because he sees himself a bit outside of it, he’s lives in New York with Rachel, and partly because he doesn’t want to freak her out.

I had a hard time buying Nick as a character. He is more endearing as an honest guy who doesn’t consider his family’s immense wealth, but it’s not plausible to me.  He’s always saying things like “I just don’t really think about that stuff” or “Well my Ah Ma is rich but I’m just a regular guy”. His Ah Ma (grandma) is basically royalty with a massive estate and a corner of Singapore all to herself. The family of characters, uncles, aunts, nephews and friends add to the colorful nature of the book. Not all of them are enemies to Rachel but there are a fair amount of ‘mean girls’ and nasty tricks. She is ABC (American Born Chinese) and therefore holds a lower tier in their social stratosphere. Also she is dating a rich guy, and likely to inherit wealth they would rather keep for themselves.   

  

I got a little lost in the labels. The author is clearly steeped in fashion. He listed off more high end chic stores and designers than I’d ever heard of. It’s was a bit much and I don’t think it enhanced the story. This is probably just my bias coming through. I imagine by telling the reader which handbag, shoe or designer is a way of mentioning the scale. “I bought a watch today” sounds a lot less impressive than “I bought a Patek Philippe watch today.” Much like writers who know about guns, they never write “John grabbed the handgun off the ground and squeezed off a short burst into the killer’s chest.” They have to write “John grabbed the Smith and Wesson 9mm off the ground and squeezed off a short burst of hollow point rounds into the killer’s chest.” Some of that adds to the story but gets old quickly if not reigned in.

 Detail is essential for mental images but works like peanut butter cups in ice cream, too many will make you sick.

What does work very well is when the characters speak with a combined English and Hokkien (Malaysian) dialect or an English and Cantonese mixed dialect. The author included a helpful footnote at the end of every chapter to explain the meaning of the dialect. Most of it doesn’t need a lot of explaining, the dialogue works even if the reader doesn’t speak the language. The expressions and exasperations are pretty much the same everywhere.

I watched the movie almost right after I read the book. The book is far less conclusive on the whole ‘will they get together despite the nutty family theme?’. In the movie...well, it’s a romantic comedy so make what you will of that.

Trail run Fail

I spent last week in Colorado Springs on vacation. Mostly I like to hike and see the city but this time I also signed up for a race. I did one half marathon before so I thought I could do one again. Now I run throughout the week so I figured I was in shape for a 13.1 mile run. The race was through trails and although I’d never done any serious trail stuff I wanted to try. The “trail” part of the run scared me enough go to the park a day early and walk the route. I downloaded a GPS app for my phone and followed the map through the woods. I got there a bit early and bumped into the race coordinator setting up cones and tying ribbons on tree branches. I let him finish before I walked the remainder.

Walking the route make me realize pretty quick that I wasn’t going to set any records on this one. Steep hills and drops, rough ground and a very zig zaggy path made for brutal course. A few people got lost on the first lap of the race. Partly due to where the cones were positioned and partly because it was downhill, they zoomed right through the trail split. I nearly followed them but remembered the route from walking earlier in the day and got back on line.  I managed the first lap by jogging most of the way and walking up the higher rises. The second lap did me in. I think I’d mentally given up after the first one and just hoped to get in one more. So I started a half marathon and completed a 10k.

Should I have finished the full distance? I’ve thought about that since. I could have gone back and walked the whole course 2 more times. It was a 3.3 mile loop that meant I had to run around it 4 times to complete a half marathon. It just seemed silly to walk it, anyone can do that. I just need more practice on trails next time. I wanted to blame the altitude or my lack of sleep or not getting enough water but really, I just wasn’t ready this time.

At least I enjoyed myself the rest of the time. I saw the US Olympic training center and finally went to Pikes Peak. The failed race was a downer on an otherwise pleasant trip.

Bits of Weird

It’s the little things in life that irritate, befuddle, confound.

 We all have quirky elements of character that regular people shake their heads at, bits of weird really.  Some of us are rule Nazis about board games. Any deviation in standard practice creates a seismic shift in gravitational pull of the earth. Some wear black socks like it’s the only color option. With athletic shorts and sandals? yup. With board shorts and tank tops? yup. With undershirts and boxers? what else. There doesn’t need to be a deeply held reason either. Some quirks just feel right.

 So here is one of my bits of weird. I need to carry everything in from the car in one heaping trip. Mostly I go to the gym or run after work so I’m usually sweaty and gross, not to mention irritable. The day is ruined however, if I can’t strategically carry all my goods safely into the house in one go. It’s not an art exactly but it must happen in the same way or precious time is wasted on an exhaustive second trip to the car to scrounge around for items not worthy to be carried the first time. Generally I throw the sweaty towel over my neck first.

Second come the keys from the ignition but I can’t pocket them. I need them for the door so they have to stay in my right hand. If it’s dark out, this is critical, I must select the door key while the light from the dashboard is still on. This can go south quickly. A fumble at the doorstep and I’ll have to set everything down and search in the dark for right key. Then I have to pick everything back up in the proper order once the door unlocks and stumble in.

After picking the right key and holding it tightly I reach for the morning’s empty coffee cup, usually tucked under the front passenger seat. I hate leaving things overnight in the car, another weird thing. Then comes the wallet from the center counsel and the frequently neglected phone in the cup holder. Both go in the front right pocked of whichever shorts I happen to be wearing.  Next I tuck the cup gently under my left arm. I’ve lost a couple of nice mugs this way so I’ve learned the right amount of pressure and movement. It’s a delicate balance. I move around the back of the car (SUV) and pop open the hatch. I sling the laptop shoulder bag and the gym duffel over my left shoulder, this way I still have a free hand in case I happen to have a bag of groceries or a watermelon. One bag is the limit though because I only have one free hand, the other one holds the all important key. If I can carefully close the door with the key hand I’m basically home free.

The last part is the approach up the steps and to the door. I don’t dare get cocky though.   The most common screw ups are trying to grab the mail from the mailbox with the key hand and subsequently dropping the key into the darkness, tripping on the steps and dropping the mug and laptop on the concrete, or trying to press the car lock bottom on the key fob and letting the house key slip down the ring and having to find it again. It’s all an exhausting bit of choreography. My angry outbursts are completely uneven to the gravity of the situation though. I’m getting better.  

What I can’t quite figure is, why do I feel the need to do it one trip? My car sits roughly 8 paces from the front door. Maybe it goes back to when I lived in an apartment and had to park 50 yards or more from the door. Maybe it’s a particular interest, I did NOT say obsession, with efficiency. Whatever the reason I get too upset about silly things in life that aren’t that important.

I’m learning to be more grateful for health, both physical and mental. Also grateful that phones and laptops and lights actually work in this country. The electricity is reliable and the gas, cable and internet come right into the house. The grocery stores don’t run out of food, unless there is a tornado on the way in which case you should’ve got there earlier. The roads are paved, the sewers run underground and the trash is collected every week. We can worship freely and say almost anything in public. A lot of us own cars and houses and toys like boats and swimming pools and motorcycles. We take vacations to places where often, the little things like electricity, gas and phones don't work as well.

Gratitude for stuff and gratitude for condition goes a long way toward easing stress over daily problems, real and imagined. Being grateful for little things in the same measure that we stress out over them is the antidote to anxiety. The quirky bits of weird are just part of who we are. We accept it and move on.

Sometimes you have to break a few coffee mugs to realize it.

Andrew Luck

Andrew Luck’s retirement is surprising in its abruptness. There is the usual exaggeration from sportswriters and TV talking heads. Being a beat writer makes for some genuine cynicism. The lies and distortions from front offices creates antagonism, fear and loathing in the reporters. The most annoying ones are the 'what-does-this-say-about-society' types that never miss a change to remind fans how immoral we all are. Some are already signaling the death of football and blaming the fans in the process. Jamele Hill at the Atlantic thinks Luck is Exhibit A in “evolving” players retiring before injuries completely ruin any chance at a normal life.

Not all fans are actually capable of seeing the humanity of the players they follow so closely. When the allure of the game is rooted in violence, and in conformity to whatever the team demands, players are treated as physical objects and nothing more.

The tone is one of finger waging. “How can you watch this sport that glorifies pain?” First of all the “allure of the game” is that most of couldn’t make a college roster at any spot, let alone an NFL team. There is an excellence most people will never know, it’s a mystique. We love football because only the toughest, most athletic and physically gifted among us can do it. Yes it is violent but the violence isn’t arbitrary or excessive, it’s a game of rules. Players aren’t treated as “physical objects and nothing more”. They couldn’t sell us life insurance or deodorant, loafers or pizza if we regarded them as mere pawns. Their value doesn’t extend beyond the team in though; we rely on their greatness as long as the team wins. That isn’t very different from the corporate world is it?

If we are seeing a move away from long careers then so be it. The salaries are extremely high because of the risky nature. Commercial fisherman, coal miners and soldiers would be fortunate to earn such a massive take. It pays well because so few can do it, also because we pay to watch. Andrew Luck made a very reasonable calculation; he’d made enough money to live comfortably. Better to get out while still relatively healthy. I think the timing was terrible and he should have done this last season, or waited until this one was over.

Some fans booed him as he headed for the tunnel. The story is that Luck retired after a short career, at least for someone with such a bright future. But a lot of sports writers and opinion talkers are making it about the booing. This from Deadspin:

“It never ceases to amaze me how some idiots can get so caught up in a fandom that they forget the players on the field are human beings.”

I think the fans can be given a break here. Booing is always ugly but their superstar quarterback quits right before the season and their supposed to sing ‘thanks for the memories’ and he strolls out of stadium in a T-shirt? They’re a little pissed off and they should be. If you hired a manager to run your business and he quit right at the beginning of the project, you’d be upset too.

 The criticism of Luck by the fans reflects the short notice of the news. It’s like “Oh by the way, your potential hall of fame quarterback is retiring today, have a great season.” If doesn’t matter what the reason, he left you dry. The anger will wane though. Give it a season and they’ll appreciate his years and effort. I don’t think anyone believes Andrew Luck wouldn’t play if he could perform reasonable well.  He won’t get a Peyton Manning type reception in Indy, but he won’t get the villain treatment forever. Colts fans will come around eventually and look to the future. 

Enough please about us fans not treating players like human beings. You can find ugliness in fans all over the league. But I won’t feel guilty about watching a game with a high probability of injuries for the athletes. It’s made a lot of people very wealthy and provided comfortable living standards for those with few other options.

There is a hard truth that comes with playing professional team sports. The team is bigger than any one player. That’s especially true in football where a bad turn or awkward hit can end a career overnight. It’s sad when injuries keep guys out, but the games go on and the only thing retiring players should feel is gratitude. Gratitude for the ability and the chance to play the toughest game around and rake in some serious money for their efforts. 

Gratitude that people thought so much of you, that they booed your decision to step away.