The downside of "Done!"

You know that question that pops up in job interviews…the one everyone hates to answer truthfully because if we did we might not get the job? If you haven’t been interviewed in a while here it is: “Name something you would like to fix about yourself?” Occasionally it gets worded this way “What would you say is a weakness you have?” Most of us say things like “I just wish I had more hours in the day, to do more work” or “I have to do everything perfect, all the time…” We answer that way because it makes us look good even in our pseudo-weakness. We don't really mean it though.

The interviewer isn’t buying it either.

An honest answer for many might be “Well, I don’t like alarm clocks first thing in the morning! If the sun isn’t up…forget about it. Whiskey does that to me you know?” Some of us are miserable at work and our co-workers avoid us like jury duty. An honest answer from them would be “I constantly blow up over the slightest problems and stew over perceived abuses. People don’t involve me in projects because I can’t handle even marginal changes in course.”

I get that one by the way. People who like routine hate surprises. I hate surprises.

For me though the primary stumbling block however is my need to finish things at the expense of quality. Not that the quality is awful or that I smack a timer, lightning chess style, every time I finish a minor task. I do scream “done!” into the PA system and dance around fists in air though (Not Really).

In my world “done” means “complete” and “complete” means “success”.

I’ve tried to figure out why I am so obsessed with finishing the thing instead of perfecting the thing. I really do hate the details of the thing and roll my eyes anytime a coworker points to the imperfections of the thing. “Hey!” I shout “Did you do the thing…the thing that needed to be done? Huh, did you? No you didn’t. I did, only me. Ok so the stuff is the wrong color and parts are crooked, and yes I did notice the size is off, but it’s finished dammit!”

An invisible clock ticks away inside my head keeping an update of the progress and mapping it out in real time. Most video games have levels to conquer or villains to kill. Progress is mapped out electronically, coins are added up. The avatar moves heroically along the graph, winning and succeeding through the fantasy world. Were any of these games designed by bored employees who ran out of projects? Probably.

My honest answer to a questioner would have to be “Being task oriented means I ignore details that slow me down, critical details that are the difference between right and wrong, making money and losing money.” The good news is everyone has something to work on, some have more than one. Knowing your soft spot is half the solution; working on it is the other half.

The best way to help yourself is by finding someone who is opposite in technique and copying them for a while. Notice their habits. What differences exist that could explain their success? Ask them to describe their process.

Here is what I’ve found. People who have success do so by checking things off the list only when all details are met. Sometimes there is a literal checklist and other times just a mental one. By using lists and double checking things I’ve sharpened up some of my sloppier habits. It does kill me (just a little) to slow down and comb over things I would have called finished before. By doing this I catch mistakes quicker and avoid embarrassing discussions with the boss about why the thing fell apart after I finished it, and shouted “done!”

Also, some are just freakishly smart and remember everything. They never write things down and never have to. They just win. Don’t be like them. If you struggle to remember what you had for breakfast don’t try to remember details of a complicated project. Get a checklist. Fill it out. Go through the motions of double checking no matter how much it pains your sensibilities. The fact is we can all improve our habits, fix our shortcomings and decide which color looks best on the thing.

And the next time we get the dreaded “What would you say is a weakness you have?” we can answer honestly and add “I’ve got some ideas for how to improve it now.” 

"Personal Best!"

Running/Jogging is a thinking man’s sport. You can exercise while thinking of something else. No pesky scores to remember or teammates with attitudes “We get it Carl you PLAYED QUARTERBACK IN HIGH SCHOOL!” Forest Gump got it right when he said “I just felt like running”… of course he did. Is there any better feeling for the body than sweating it out after a hard run? Maybe running isn’t a traditional sport with competition and defense but for me it does the same thing.

Life is like running (and a box of chocolates). We start out with help and instruction but eventually are expected to figure it out alone. Some of us can’t get past the breathing exercise and the weight loss. Others can’t go more than a hundred yards without support or help from friends, family. Many never get training at all and have to rely on what they observe or feel. A rare few figure out their pace and stride hard all the way through. Most of us have some “am I doing it right?” type questions along the way.

 I had to think about what I really like about running though. It isn’t like I run every day or have a long tradition of signing up for races. I didn’t run track or cross country in high school. I developed a keen interest in jogging while in the Army. By ‘keen interest’ I mean forced to points of exhaustion against my will on a regular basis.  That is probably where it started, the pressing importance of getting exercise through running.

Running has taught me lessons since I started doing it regularly. Serious athletes run marathons and half marathons and keep schedules for total miles and have nutrition charts. All that is great but I just like the feeling of completing a goal. The goal isn’t usually too tough, 2 or 3 miles at most. The biggest lesson from running? Finish what you started even if you have to limb along the last few yards.

Running is unlike other sports or exercise because it is grueling where tennis and basketball are sporadic and intense. Jogging doesn’t require quick bursts or aggressive moves; it is steady and consistent. It forces us to feel every muscle getting weaker and straining with a goal that seems unreachable.

Life is this way. It requires constant attention and focus and occasionally we think we might die with another step. Learning to push through and endure when the muscles start to give out is what growth is all about. Knowing when to slow the pace or open the stride requires experience in running. Experienced runners know their body and the limits to which they can push. They understand what pain to ignore and which demands attention.

Amazingly the military figured out elements long ago about the human body and the human mind that are universal for fitness. Start each day running. Run a little; run a lot. Run with goals that progress to higher standards to show measured improvement.

Few people are cut out to run grueling marathons and competitive distance races. There is a pace for everyone that suites their talents, needs, desires and circumstances. Too many of us are comfortable with our current routine, fixated only on the moment and not wanting to improve. Worse still are the ones who sat down and decided running wasn’t for them years ago. Amazingly they don’t believe in running or think it’s for others, more fit people perhaps.

 They would be surprised how easy it is to start though. And how much their efforts, not even success but effort, could inspire those around them. The simple act of beginning, taking small steps and slowly walking a little every day then running a little every day can be the difference. Running doesn’t have to be exhausting but it does require some discipline to start. Discover a new personal best.

Life is like running, we all start but not all keep going.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” Hebrews 12:1

Tribal effects

What is tribalism? According to Webster it means “Loyalty to a tribe or social group especially when combined with strong negative feelings for people outside the group. “

There has been much talk since the election about Americans descending into tribalism. In other words defending your candidate and their issues and eschewing anything opposite those issues. It is almost always used as a pejorative to describe vitriol and closed mindedness, it doesn’t have to be. Tribalism can be ugly and irrational but the instinctive nature to defend the group/family/team is necessary for unity and support.

It is like a two stage (in my mind) descriptor. A little is understandable; a lot is nasty.

Tribalism is a social ill when the moral good of your side overrules any condemnation and laws get broken and truths ignored.We overlook the steroid abuse from our best hitter because he makes our team better. Also we ignore the abuse because there is a larger issue at stake…winning dammit! It is easy to see in sports across the entire country; most of us have a favorite team to root for. Tribalism isn’t a life or death matter (usually) in fandom but its effects can be observed in a hostile stadium or when scrolling Facebook after a huge loss. Try wearing a 49’ers jersey into CenturyLink Field (home of the Seahawks) and not expect some harassment.

Politics is a more serious battleground even though we Americans tend to exaggerate the extent. Does anyone really think the opposition party in the US is the same as opposition in Turkey? Or that being a Muslim in Omaha is the same as being a Christian in Aleppo? Comparisons aside we should put our ‘tribal’ differences in context and work up from there, admitting that our milder version is still intense. Tribalism is an instinct more than a learned behavior; an attack on a family member is an attack on the family despite their differences. Your brother may be guilty of running the red light and crashing into the bus hauling senior citizens to church, but he is still family.  

Tribalism is the natural reaction of defense and counter attack against an assault. So when the angry bus driver limps from the dented wreck and curses your brother while threatening mayhem, tribalism kicks in. Rational thinking allows the passenger, you, to watch stoically from the passenger seat as the furious driver approaches your vehicle swinging a tire iron. You aren’t rational though. You defend instinctively but defense is not approval. He wouldn't get within 10 feet of  your sibling without some effort to stop him. Besides the limp is slowing him down and you’re pretty sure he walked that way before the crash.

When tribalism pushes beyond reasonable limits it gets dangerous and starts taking truth hostage. This is where sports fans and political novices experience denial and conspiracy. Fake moon landings, airport terminals to hell and Mayan doomsday predictions all live here.   

Tom Brady just won a record fifth super bowl at the age of 39. This year was particularly impressive because he was suspended at the beginning for deflating footballs the previous season below the required level of air. It is unlikely that a few games with some under inflated footballs made much difference to such a great quarterback. He did it though. He cheated. The infraction was probably like most infractions at such a high level of competition, looking for an advantage no matter how slight. I know New Englanders don’t think much of the charge. How about the rest of us?

Probably the best answer is that he cheated with the footballs last year but it had a marginal impact on the game. Patriots are a well-coached juggernaut of Super Bowl excellence and Brady is as efficient a superstar as exists. He wins with different receivers practically every year. He was punished by sitting out a few games this year and paying his due. Tribalism that goes too far insists the footballs were under inflated by the NFL to make the Pats look bad. And that neither the Patriots nor Tom Brady had anything to do with it. It was all an NFL conspiracy because the league hates New England. The last part may be true but the cheating IS consistent with this team. Sorry.

Similarly, when president Trump gets attacked by a writer or talking head from cable news I go into defense mode. Why is this? Is it because I truly believe Trump to be correct in every case? Not at all. Is the reporter being unfair or dishonest? Not always. I suppose I defend because leaders need support from a constant attacking horde. Also I voted for Trump. He is my guy. When the Democrats are in the White House the situation reverses and I can think of almost nothing admirable from that opposition party. They are simply advancing the football in the other direction. There are always a few times when I’ll agree with the Left or even grudgingly admit to a persuasive argument.

In sports and politics we support those on our side like family. As long as we stay honest about our biases and never excuse illegality tribalism will be an understandable instinct. When tribalism forces us to burn the store down so the cops won’t find the bodies,  we’ve crossed a line.