Husband, Father, Christian

It was a day like any other day. I found out my uncle passed away. Lost his battle with cancer after what probably seemed like an eternity to his family. After hearing the news the pacing of the day seemed to slow as the importance of work became less so. When a family member dies, even a distant one, it forces us to remember specific characteristics about them and tell stories.

It also reminds us of how precious life is.  

Everyone leaves their impact on the world in different ways. I am sitting here listening to an instrumental station that is heavy on piano melodies and old school worship. It seems appropriate for the moment since I associate piano worship with my uncle. I am sure he occasionally sat down to watch a movie or read a book but in my mind I can’t imagine it. To me he was engaged in some other activity at all times. If the families were eating cake for a birthday party he was around but usually taking pictures and video of the party, not to mention editing the photos before everyone left. He liked being just outside of the circle, just on the edges of the party. Present and polite but engaged in other pursuits at the same time. His mind organized work before play even though some of his work must have felt like play. 

My Uncle the photographer.

Funerals are difficult for a whole lot of reasons and even tougher when the deceased is family. Death has been defeated but we are still left with its legacy. Its efforts to convince us that the sting is real and the grave is forever are cruel lies constantly retold. Even in defeat Death fights harder and inflicts more pain. We have a Champion though whose resurrection eliminates the finality of death—a savior who broke the curse forever revealing a bright future full of hope and free of sorrow.

 Our efforts at love and life are God inspired and hopefully we touch others with the light of Christ. Our talents reflect the beauty of our Creator. Much of that beauty for Eldon is in the music he created. The lyrics and melodies he loved to write while sitting at his piano and recording. He seemed to have a craftsman’s dedication to playing, improving, tweaking.  Song flowed naturally from him the way water flows from an underground spring. One memory I have is of my uncle on the stage at church performing one of the songs he wrote while playing the guitar. I didn’t know before that day he could play so well, or at all. The piano sure, the guitar—I never knew it. 

My Uncle the musician.

I remember his fondness for Seinfeld and the quirky humor the show was known for. I didn’t share his fascination with old sports cars and his tech knowledge was far ahead of mine.  Seinfeld I got though. I think his happiness and ‘fan boy’ enthusiasm for the show rubbed off on those around him. By the time it became syndicated the show had spanned generations of followers and nerd subcultures that used Seinfeldian phrases in everyday speech. Words like “re-gift” and “close talker” caught on. It was a joy to see my uncle as a Seinfeld superfan, an unexpected surprise. He even combined his hi-fi tech skills with his TV show cataloging skills and set up a program to automatically download shows not already in his library. I can’t decide which part of him worked harder at organizing that software, Seinfeld fan guy or techy genius guy.

 It’s impossible not to appreciate someone who perfects a craft or who takes pleasure in learning something new. That enthusiasm for learning and crafting, tinkering and toying sums up Eldon. Business types have a term for people who blaze a trail in new technology and push forward through research. They call them Early Adopters. I remember him explaining how he learned the basic code that Benson Stone used for rudimentary functions (remember mid 80’s). He told me he analyzed the dots on the printed pages and used trial and error to learn a handful of strokes and functions. From there he built on the little code he knew to adapt more and take on larger projects. I was impressed, but also a little disappointed because I realized I would never go to that much trouble. It wasn’t trouble to him though. He enjoyed the messy process that a lot of us simply hate. 

My uncle the Early Adopter.

As Christians we understand the glorious future that awaits while hoping for extended time with loved ones and praying for it desperately. My uncle was certainly a loving husband and father who raised his kids in line with the scriptures. The uncle I saw though was a quiet self-made type who was a gifted musician and appreciated quirky humor.

God be with his family in this tough time.

Random Generator: Journaling

I get writer’s block frequently. Coming up with interesting stuff seems to take more effort every week. Lately what works for me is journaling. Journaling is my ace in the hole. It’s what I come back to when nothing else works. It’s what feels right. It’s where my passion first started and my craft began taking shape. It’s the place I return to for inspiration. It’s like a long satisfying exhale, like the kind a dog makes when he completely relaxes and splays out on the floor.

 Nothing works better for material than personal experience and it’s why (looking back) may favorite pieces, the ones I loved to write are about me. That’s right “Me”; the center of my universe, or so it seems. Oddly I don’t like to talk about myself or what is going on in my life. Yet it remains the richest source of material for most writers who write what they know. I hate when Facebook ‘asks’ me to post where I’ve been, what I’m doing or to ‘check in’. I don’t think about it and don’t want to.

This isn’t a personal gripe against people who share a lot. Some are just good at it and enjoy telling others what's up. The question I always ask myself is “Does anyone really care that I went to Braums and got mint chocolate chip shake?” which happens a lot by the way. Have you had one? Common, right! Or do people care that I voted Republican and think the Clintons are a southern version of the Corleones? I backed off the political stuff this last year. I would say it had to do with the nastiness of the race and the lack of a decent human being at the top of either ticket but, no. It was just hard to wave a flag for Trump or tuck my ears beneath a MAGA hat.

 Trump is hardly Cicero despite Hillary’s crime family bona fides.

 American politics have seen nastier more personal phases but none of them have occurred during my lifetime. The Jackson/Adams campaign of 1828 is regarded as one of the dirtiest most personal election seasons in our short history. Adams was called a ‘pimp’ while Jackson got accused of marrying another man’s wife (a technicality in Rachel’s past). Personal attacks by partisan newspapers were the norm. Today we think of newspapers and media outlets as slanted but not openly partisan, at least we didn’t until this year.

Actually the more I think about it the more that fateful period in history matches the cage match from last year.

Most of the time my reluctance to share is rooted in just that “Does anyone care attitude?” and I usually opt out. I don’t burn white hot over issues that would have fired me up years ago. It only takes seeing Christians executed for their faith by terrorists groups like ISIS to put events in perspective. Suddenly my interests and fascinations over political parties and the games they play blur in comparison to the horror of persecution. It isn’t that my passions aren’t important but the biblical trials suffered by Christians around the world stand in stark relief to casual day to day politics. If one isn't heartsick over the news that Christians villages are torched or that young women are raped by ISIS jihadis than they don’t have a heart. After news like that it is hard to get exercised over corporate tax rates or national health insurance.

The other side is feeling guilty over the relative ease of life in America. We can certainly get caught up in the misery of war, famine and persecution, dangerously thinking nothing in the Western world is important because misery exists somewhere all the time “…while you stuff your face with waffles!”

 In the nineties movie Greedy one of the characters is renowned for telling Uncle Joe not to buy grapes because the farmers were treating the labor like slaves, overworking and underpaying them. He is a classic hippie who eschews the greedy despotic lifestyle of the rich self-made man. At one point Uncle Joe tells him during a chance encounter thirty years later that he is “Still eating grapes.” The message being I’m still living my life and enjoying it, so buzz off. 

No one likes to get ripped for enjoying life and sometimes the dreariness of the world can turn to guilt over a blessed situation. Many can point to those who care about suffering far away but can’t show up to work on time or pay their bills. Certainly a place exists for ‘Enjoying all things richly’ but these peeks behind the curtain are God’s way of reminding us that a larger world exists. We need to be mindful of how we spend time and money. 

So in the interest of journaling I started writing this blog a few years ago to get better at writing and explore different topics. Self-reflection is the key for me. If not for a sense that self-reflection leads to improvement I wouldn't know how else to proceed. 

 Companies do this as a matter of principle: What happened? What was the result? What can we do better next time? Reflection is natural for anyone hoping to improve whatever they do. I never expect this particular one to turn into a blog post since my reflection is just that most times, a personal measure of where I am at in my progress. My mind seems fixated on ‘progress’ as it relates to. . . well, everything lately. From my workout routine and growth of my yard shrubs to the Trump’s presidency, nothing seems insignificant. Growth is stunted and haphazard but plodding forward (with Trump I mean).

My shrubs are fine. 

Performance Reviews: The real purpose

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” Aww not this question please.

She asked it to me just as I was nailing the technical parts of the review. I didn’t like the question before and I really hated it now. It assumes I’ll still be here working for this company 5 years on, doubtful. A non-answer assumes laziness and that might be worse. Actually it is definitely worse. No company wants a lazy manager. Employees come and go but managers are supposed to have larger visions, bigger goals. It’s a nerve racking proposition to be put on the spot for any review because raises and bonuses depend on them. No pressure right?

“Well, I’d like a crystal ball that’s for sure, Haha!” How ridiculous do I sound right now? The lame humor is pouring out of me like blood from a gunshot wound.

A delay says I am working on my best “Wow” response because I clearly haven’t thought about it.

A quick answer might seem too flippant or relaxed. I might curse if I am too relaxed, not professional. I swear when I am nervous too though so no good. Here it goes.  

“I’d like to manage ah, um...department…hopefully…” not convincing at all! Do you even work here?

My answer sounded more like a question. My reviewer noticed my nervousness.

“You don’t have to know exactly what you want.” She helpfully explained.

She was reading from a set of prepared answers that the corporate partners all use. Across the country nervous entry level managers everywhere are considering their options: should I go big and talk about running a store or be honest and blurt out “How the hell should I know. Why don’t you ask me how much of a raise I need? Or which of the employees on my crew should make LESS than minimum wage? Or which ones will be gone in less than a year? Those are questions I know.”  

Something to understand about the employee reviews designed to reach into your beating heart and pull a corporate logo Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom style, it isn’t true. They aren’t designed that way at all.  Companies want to hire and promote goal setters. It doesn’t matter so much what those goals are. People who plan for the future think ahead in other areas of life as well.

The minute by minute types can’t see above their level and don’t care to. They worry about their corner and nothing else. They often show up for work but aren’t flexible outside of what they know, their training. It is nearly impossible for them to get promoted in a truly meritocratic system because their work behavior acts like hedge against advancement. The review questions might seem designed to check your loyalty but more accurately they separate good employees from bad. Or at least they try to.  

Put yourself in that manager’s chair, the big leather one with a high back and a neck support. Imagine you have to get a project from early stage A to finished stage Z in the fewest days possible. Say the retailer you work for is opening a new store in 6 months and the building is a long way from finished. As the store’s manager you need to hire around 100 people in less than a month. A stack of applications sets in folders in front of you. You don’t have a shortage of people looking to work but you do have a one major problem, not enough time to do full interviews and follow ups. You need to decide on a couple key questions for department managers since the pay is better (a little) and the responsibility is greater. Remember also this is a corporate operation so you can’t make up your own interview questions. 

I know you have a ‘full proof’ method for asking Star Wars trivia and sussing out character flaws but you have to use the prepared sheet so focus. Not the whole interview of course, this is a quick and dirty ‘get em processed and working’ event and time is running short.

The ‘5 years’ question forces the one being asked to evaluate very quickly the important parts of their life, the career stuff. Answers can be messy since the point is to find out who has thought about it and who has not. You can use your own scale on what is acceptable and what isn’t. The question also works like a curve when all they have seen is fastballs down the middle. Mix it up. Change the speed and see how they handle it. Do they curse at you? Shift in their seat? Talk about the Illuminati? How they answer it might say more than the words they use.

It might seem like an exaggeration but executives and store managers are too busy to worry about how a particular question comes off. Answer honestly and don’t pretend to have Elon Musk type vision when a comfortable salary and steady hours are closer to the truth. Most important, don’t take too literal the “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” question. If you have goals or plans for career advancement share them. Even the simple ones. Pointed truthful answers get to the heart of the matter more than broad nonsensical ones.

No one is buying your non-answer anyway.  

Taiwan's Importance

The sanctions boom is about to drop on the North Koreans for their reckless missile tests and belligerent behavior. Sanctions work for the short term but what to do long term?

North Korea has been testing missiles about every month and ramping up the danger for South Korea and anyone within range. Experts think China holds the key to stopping their obnoxiousness since they are the only ally the North has. How much of an ally are they really? Would the childish dictator Kim Jong un even listen to proposals from Beijing about not launching?

China could cut off whatever rations and food they sell to them but this regime survives on very little help as it is. The country has seen a few famines over the last decade and the Kim regime is unmoved by his peoples’ own suffering and death. What specifically could China do and what does the U.S want? It would request U.N. inspectors to pour in and verify the nuclear program is defunct if such a deal could be made. I don’t see Xi Jinping agreeing to have inspectors come anywhere near his hemisphere. It is also highly unlikely that Kim Jong Un would feel pressure to surrender his nuclear program. No such leverage exists to make him give up that much.

I am fearful that Taiwan could be used as a bargaining chip with Beijing. The only reason Taipei maintains any independence from the Mainland is the United States. The current diplomatic model is the ‘One China’ framework that recognizes China as one group ethnically, but holds that there are two systems. State Department types use the word ‘systems’ because saying ‘country’ or ‘government’ implies a separate sovereign nation exists. China claims Taiwan as part of its country, just another territory or province under rebellion. This creates all manner of craziness at world bodies like the World Trade Organization where Taiwan doesn’t have a representative. They can’t fly a flag or have ambassadors. They get no recognition as a ‘nation’ from anyone. China won’t allow it.

From Beijing’s position it would be like Nebraska sending a basketball team to represent itself in the Olympics.

Taiwan could lose the fragile bit of autonomy they enjoy if the United States cancels the weapons pact. Taipei buys anti-aircraft artillery and fighter jets from us thanks to an agreement between countries signed in 1979. Or if any American organizations or government intermediaries (like the American Institute in Taiwan) see immediate changes in leadership, a diplomatic shift is coming.  

Diplomacy is messy and requires careful deliberate moves where trades-offs are common. Leaders work toward a main goal and trade down or up depending on their position. During the Yalta Conference after Germany surrendered Russian agreed to enter the war against Japan in exchange for concessions on Poland and other European borders. They were given a slice of Berlin to manage as well, something the other Allies probably resented.

America sells arms to Taiwan and trades extensively with the island. A big part of the boom in affordable electronics during the eighties centered on manufacturing plants dotted around that country. They are important strategically as well as economically. Even if they weren’t useful in a utilitarian sense, America needs to defend its allies if it wants future partners and credibility. It might seem purely sentimental to strict “Realists” but isolating friends in order to get a better deal is bad politics. Those acts resonate with governments around the world and disrupt future attempts to enlist them to our cause. It was a mistake to ignore Ukraine when they needed weapons against a belligerent Russia in 2014. We don’t need to send troops into every corner of the globe but we should at least honor commitments and be aggressive diplomatically.

The real question on North Korea is what can they be made to do? Their dictator is crazy enough to launch missiles and short range artillery at the South at the slightest provocation. Maybe he isn’t really that crazy, but that has to be the calculation when dealing with any nuclear armed tyrant.. The fallout in South Korea would be devastating even if they could intercept most of the barrage. I’ve always suspected the Communist government in Beijing relishes their influence (however much exists) over the North Koreans.

They don’t have a lot of cards to play on a global stage but being the only broker the North Koreans will listen to is an obvious advantage. 

The Chinese want Taiwan back without US meddling. The US wants North Korea's nuclear program shut down. Time to negotiate.  

Kim Jong un needs to go at a price. His very existence is a threat to free people. But don’t trade away influence or sovereignty in Taiwan; find another way.