Familiarity and Contempt: Crowds and Stress

 

I got off work tonight and took a pair of running shorts back to TJ Maxx. I've lost some weight so I thought I'd buy some smaller gear. Turns out I haven't lost that much.

 I tried to go Saturday but the smallish retail space was packed full of shoppers like the mall at Christmas. There were 4 or 5 checkout lanes all lit up so the business was prepared for the onslaught. Still, I don’t like shopping at all and anything that makes it more difficult is an easy pass for me. I walked in, looked around and promptly left. The word bubble over my head said “Nope!”

Some people hate crowds, others Really hate crowds. Usually I’m in the later camp.

There are exceptions of course. I went to a big fireworks show last year in Hot Springs with some high school friends. That 4^th of July we went to the bridge on the outside of town overlooking a big lake and watched an awesome display. I don’t mind crowds as much with friends and family. I’m about to head to Tennessee in a few days for a family reunion minus two brothers. On vacation I tend to soften my attitude to sharp criticism or aggressive behavior. If you can’t relax on vacation then when can you? I get that airports and shuttles and rental cars and hotels can be exhausting. What helps me is just refusing to get in a hurry. I take the attitude “I’m going to enjoy even if it takes a few extra minutes”. Life is stressful enough without putting extra layers of anxiety on top of what’s already there.

Driving Uber helps me calm down. Not that I always want to drive through the busiest time of night, 5:00 p.m. right after work. But I hate to rush. I make mistakes when I rush and accidents happen. I had a minor crash earlier this year after a very icy morning. I slammed into my curb on the way out of my driveway. I needed a replacement tie rod so nothing major. Still, I hurried out and hit the brake even after reminding myself that the roads were slick. That was a tough week for tow trucks. I tried to drive it to the dealership with only partial steering, another bad choice. I called a tow truck from the side of the road and they gave me a 6 hour window. Not their fault of course, mother nature had its way with Tulsa that week. Wrecker companies (do people still call them that?) were basically printing money.

The more reckless driving days I have the more cautious I become. It’s too expensive to be in a hurry.

I need to change my attitude in stressful and busy times. 

I’m working on a plan for reversing my negative attitude at work due to stress. Mostly I keep my complaints about customers to myself. I’ve tried hard not to let my occasional irritation bleed through in my expressions or demeanor. I’m not sure how much of my bad mood is work itself and how much is just my lack of knowing how to deal with it. I had a thought today. This has to be the last time I do this particular job. I legitimately hate sizing kids in uniforms all day, all summer long. Hundreds of kids will come through the door from late May to late July. All of them will need to try on something. Most are pleasant enough but the routine and familiarity from season to season creates disgust in me. It’s terrible to say I know.

Who was it that said “Familiarity breeds contempt”? that man did uniform sizing's I'm sure of it.

 Everyone works harder during the summer; it’s our busy season so we have to go with the flow. I’m not sure if I’d prefer to do something else but I’d sure like to try. I think my face to face customer service days are over. It’s like something I feel in my bones. It’s not that I’m nasty to them. But I think there comes a time, or maybe a season, where a person just can’t do the same job anymore. And I think I’m there.

Of course all of this could be just complaining about being told to work when I’d rather read news articles on my computer, but I don’t think so. I’ve worked enough jobs in life to know that all work on some level, at certain times is just miserable. It’s the nature of fighting against your flesh daily. The next 2 months will bear this out and I’ll decide if I want to keep going with this job or go a different direction. I’ve been here waaaaay longer than I thought already so I won’t be sad to go. But the Spirit leads in all truth and I want to go when the time is right. I want to go when I’m right. I’ll go when God says “Go”.

So what’s this got to do with crowds and hating them? It comes down to stress I think. I don’t like to be rushed and I’m rushed a lot in crowds. It’s just an emotion I need to control before it turns to anger. Between Uber driving and shopping trips I’ll be a peace guru before Christmas, when the real nuttiness begins.

Psalms 7: King David's Pattern

 

If you look close you’ll pick up on an order to the David Psalms.

It’s not present all the time or in the same way, but there is a pattern. He begins with a specific prayer for rescue from enemies and evil doers. He follows that with a commitment to hold himself to the standard of the law lest he be guilty of some personal sin. Third, he begs God to honor His word for the sake of His people. Fourth he reminds himself and others of the Lord’s righteous judgement. It’s like saying, don’t worry nothing escapes Jehovah. Lastly he gives thanks for victory.

Psalm 7 is a good example of this. The order really jumped out to me. Here is the first 2 verses, and David’s prayer for rescue “O Lord my God in You I put my trust; Save me from all those who persecute me; and deliver me, lest they tear me like a lion…” The Psalmist is desperate for God’s protection in time of stress.

 Security is the first concern of leadership, threats to your life are especially daunting. Without a measure of safety it’s impossible to do anything else, it’s a helpless feeling. During the Iraq war the US set up a “Green Zone” in Baghdad with hard checkpoints miles out. Why? They couldn’t conduct any other part of the war without first getting a secure area for their war planners, ambassadors and functionaries. David knows God’s protection is the starting place for comfort.

Next is his realization of his own sin. This is the honest ‘search my heart’ prayer that’s necessary when demanding retribution. A lot of us carry bitterness we aren’t aware of, not to mention jealousy or wrath. “If there is iniquity in my hands, If I have repaid evil to him who was at peace with me, or have plundered my enemy without cause, let the enemy pursue me and overtake me” This is what the Fear of the Lord looks like. David has too much respect for the Jehovah’s law.

 It sounds a little like confidence to me too. He is showing the Heavenly Father a pure innocent heart. Ever been truly wronged without cause? It makes you want to show your cards a bit like “Hey, I’ll show you my phone records if it helps your Honor!” You’re in the right and you can’t wait to prove it.

The next part sounds to me like a kid reminding his dad of that trip to Disney he promised but has yet to deliver on. I imagine an emotional David saying “You promised, remember? You did!” It’s not frustration as much as impatience. “Rise up for me to the judgment You have commanded! So the congregation of the peoples shall surround You; For their sakes return on high.” (verse 6-7) Part of this is the heavy responsibility that comes from the well-being of others. I don’t know if David is a king yet but he is thinking like a leader. He knows the importance of divine justice for those who’ve suffered.

In our culture we’ve lost a bit of this idea of a God that punishes the wicked, ancient cultures did not. Probably because of our comparatively peaceful existence, we put more emphasis on forgiveness. In David’s time small invading armies could wipe out a people overnight. Most were one heated battle away from destruction or captivity.

God’s judgement is swift but slow. “God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day. If he does not turn back He will sharpen His sword; He bends His bow and makes it ready. He also prepares for Himself instruments of death; He makes his arrows into fiery shafts.” (verse 11-13) Remember too that this is the God of the Old Covenant with the Hebrews. It’s important for those who have suffered serious injustice to know that Yahweh fights their battles, for us too.

There is a reason those from war torn societies, usually believe in God. They need to know that an eternal judgement is due those who practice violence against the innocent. When famine wipes out populations and genocide ruins tribes, it helps to know where hope is.

The psalmist finishes with giving of thanks for the yet unseen victory. “I will praise the Lord according to His righteousness, and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High.” (verse 17). It’s important to understand that David isn’t just ‘getting it off his chest’ in cathartic sort of way. There is some usefulness in that for sure. If you haven’t sat down at least once and blasted out an angry screed in writing, I’d recommend it. I always feel a little better afterwards, just don’t, you know... hit send.

He reminds himself always of the bigness of God. That’s the point of it all. David understands that God will rescue, comfort, punish and fight the battle because He has done it before. The praise isn’t premature; it’s recognition of the victory yet unseen.

Not all of the Psalms reflect this exact format, but you’ll see elements in nearly every one. If the pattern worked for David it can work for us.

How Woke is the Military?

 

I did a quick google search for “military effect on manhood”. The top sites on the first page were all about the negative effects, not exactly what I had in mind. Google’s usefulness is often what it leaves out. Searches should tell us where the culture is on a particular issue, increasingly though it tells us where we should go.

I wanted traditional views about military service and manliness, or how the rigors of Army life encourage maturity in men. No such luck. I just went for manliness instead, seeing as how all the military and manliness articles are mostly negative. Not much better, most are about how manliness is toxic or how masculinity is a construct to be examined like a dead frog in a biology lab. I wanted to contrast the traditional with the modern and show a dramatic difference. But since I can’t do that I’ll just post the views of the new commander at Fort Carson and let you decide which one he fits into.

Here is how he describes himself on his Twitter bio: “Combined Arms Battalion Commander. Infantryman who loves tanks. Fervent anti-racist and anti-sexist. Views my own. He/him. Trying my best.”

This page screams woke. He even put his pronouns in there! This is the new Commander of the freaking base, not a colorless HR spokesman. Naturally I saw the need to contrast this weak man with a traditional leader without going back to George Washington. Even General Mattis (as Def. Sec) for all his tough guy talk recommended keeping transgender soldiers in service and recruiting more. Eventually he supported president Trump recommendation to eliminate almost all transgender soldiers from service. That he couldn't see for himself how destabilizing mental illness can be to morale is beyond me.

So this new LTC (Lieutenant Colonel) Andrew Rhodes of the base at Fort Carson reportedly said “If you’re a white male you’re part of the problem”. I hit the ceiling. This isn’t a dopey professor at a small liberal arts college in New England; this is a leader in the Army. Thankfully there is an investigation.

Has the military really gone that far into the abyss and been transformed into this? Is it the schools than? Do West Point and Annapolis and Colorado Springs attract these woke students? I can’t believe that the greatest fighting force the world has ever seen is this far from its history as defender of freedom. Soldiers are patriots or they wouldn’t bother. Ok so not every kid that joins is a flag waving Republican from the heartland. But he isn’t a Marxist revolutionary either. The language of “intersectionality” and “Critical Race Theory” and “Gendering” is now part of military esprit de corps. God help us.

A few weeks ago a Lt. Col was removed from his post as Commander of the 11^th Space Warning Squadron. Apparently his interview about his new book was seen as too partisan. He wrote about creeping Marxism in the military, ironically enough.

In March the Biden administration introduced a ‘diversity and inclusion’ czar to deal with the elite forces like Delta and Rangers. Just what those toxic males need, some non-gendering language questionnaires to sort out their aggressive behavior.  I prefer the marketing of my youth. Whether the Marines and their ‘Few and Proud’ ads or the Army with their “Be all You can Be” campaign, there was an unmistakable challenge to excellence. 

Contained in each ad was the offer to be a part of the best and become the best. It said this heritage of service goes back to our founding, it’s sacred and requires duty from citizens. It defeated Communism during the Cold War and National Socialism during World War II. It saved the new Republic from an invading British fleet in the War of 1812. It preserved the Union and made sure slavery ended with the Confederacy. We didn’t do it alone but we are the indispensable country to individual freedom around the world. The global order depends on it.

Critics will say my complaints are overwrought nonsense and the essential character of the armed forces is the same. But can we afford to be so blasé about such a critical institution to peace and security? Not a chance. Who would you rather go to war against, a nation full of hardened soldiers or one that talks about inclusion and race? Who looks to be the more challenging foe, one that touts its training and toughness or one that obsesses about pronouns and gender?

I’m not saying our military is shot through top to bottom with snowflakes, just the opposite actually. There is an attempt by left wingers running the country to gut the armed forces of its patriotic men and women in positions of leadership. This should be obvious by now and it has to stop. I don’t know where to go from here but without the nation’s defenders we’re like a fortress surrounded by cardboard walls. It looks imposing but with a little push it collapses on top of itself like a false religion. 

Next time I do a search for masculinity and the military I’m afraid Google will bring up pages on ancient history.

image taken from: https://laptrinhx.com/news/the-military-industrial-complex-is-going-woke-W72AlQQ/

Prayer for Comfort

 

A witnessed something jarring this afternoon. A man clinging to a fence overlooking a highway, had set his mind on jumping to the interstate below. I passed by in the turning lane and the guy in the F150 put on his hazards and got out. He signaled to me that he was going to talk to this guy as another man had found his way on the walkway over the overpass. A small crowd formed on the other side of the fence intent on helping this man. I had just picked up a customer at Quik Trip, with Uber, and I considered getting out as well. I opted to keep going because it seemed enough people were helping out. I did the best thing I know how to do at that moment, pray. The passenger in back noticed the jumper too. Our conversation on the military (we are both veterans) stopped at that moment and for about a minute the situation felt very tense.

 I never found out what happened. As I drove off a small crowd had gathered but I never heard another word. I prayed under my breath for the next few minutes for the man to have a change of heart.I checked the news later to see if there were stories about Tulsa closing the highway or a man threatening to kill himself. Thankfully nothing came up after a quick search.

Even without knowing the result I’m touched by a few things. The gentleman who stopped his truck and hopped out to help, no hesitation in him. Another shirtless passerby who looked like he might be homeless himself, appeared to be talking the guy down. Others got out of their cars as well. I saw one asshole on a motorcycle who took his helmet off to say “Jump Man!” I'm pretty sure I saw a few people taking pictures or video with their phones, so callous. The best and worst of humanity summed up in one incident, heaven and hell battling for the soul of this man, who felt the need to end his life. Satan drove this guy to contemplated suicide, through a failed relationship, an addiction or just a loss of zeal for life. Possibly this man was off his meds and struggled with Schizophrenia or Depression. We should not be confused that the enemy comes to “steal, kill and destroy” and uses every tool to that end.

I resumed my conversation with the passenger in the back, both of us sharing a little bit of ourselves and our experiences in the military. My heart wasn’t in the conversing. Thoughts of the near jumper standing on that ledge with his feet halfway over the edge and his fingers white knuckling the fence still penetrated my head. Should I have gotten out and talked to him? Prayer is the most powerful tool in any event, but it still makes me wonder if I should have done more.  

Help me to learn from the incident Lord and not be fearful or indecisive in the face of certain trouble. I guess a part of my rethinking of the incident is personality. Some people look inward assuming they should have done more, been more or said more. Writers break down their actions into thoughts, after the fact, and pick the thoughts up like pieces of fruit to be inspected for quality and consistency. It's exhausting but it's how I've been trained, journal the incident and figure out what went wrong. 

Life is sacred. Evil is real. The earth is the Lords but Satan controls it and twists the minds of men to do his bidding. Suicide is rooted in a lie that we aren’t enough. Combatting the powers in this earth demands a commitment to God’s kingdom. I’m certainly more aware of it every day and I don’t believe I passed by that bridge on accident. But with every close call I’m reminded of the importance of being rooted in Christ.
“For though we walk in the flesh we do not war according to the flesh.” (2 Corinthians 10:4”)

Sometimes there is no good answer to a bad situation. Prayer is both offense and defense in the face of certain trouble. Even for those that look inward first, God is always there and always active. 

Hospital trips and Puppies with Parvo

 

I’m finding out that Uber on Saturday morning is quite a joy. I don’t rush like I do on a Wednesday or Thursday. I’m peaceful because I’m don’t fight traffic or react to honking horns and angry drivers. It’s like everyone on the road just agrees, let’s take it easy today alright?

Do you need to pass?…after you sir. No blinker?…no problem. U-turn in the middle of a busy street?...why not.

Today was such an occasion. The weather was perfect and I was still on my morning runner’s high so my mood matched the sunny conditions. Yes I know that runner’s highs don’t last that long but let me have this. I had an interesting crop of riders from both last night and today. No duds thankfully, although I did have a woman who made an unscheduled stop. As a general rule I don’t mind letting someone run into Quik Trip for a 6 pack or some lottery tickets. Out of the way trips that aren’t scheduled on the app are kind of a no-no per Uber. There might be a safety aspect but mostly it’s because we aren’t getting paid. Not me and certainly not Uber. And anyway it’s an easy fix. Just update the trip.

Her stop was to the liquor store which was at least marginally near her apartment. She was in and out as quick as possible but it could go either way. A customer might decide to do a little shopping, or get behind in long line. I’m out money when they do that and it’s seriously rude.

Early today I picked up a man with a scheduled hospital visit. He wanted McDonalds first and it wasn’t on the trip. He asked me for help to add it as a stop, which was decent of him. That was fortunate for me. Now I can show riders how to do it. He turned out to be my favorite type of passenger, a Tulsa native who is over the age of 60 and likes to talk about the city. Sadly he has health problems on top of health problems. I get the feeling he needs regular treatments and medicine to get by.

On second thought the McDonalds stop was a probably a bad idea. So now I’m complicit.

I accepted a ride from a woman in East Tulsa who asked about dogs. “Do you take dogs?” She asked of course after I accepted the ride. It’s really my fault though. I don’t remember if I allowed for dogs when I set up my account. Truth is I prefer they bring a cage but since most people hold their dogs anyway it doesn’t matter. She told me she would bring a towel so I relented. Towels are known to be the exact equivalent of a cage. What could possibly get past a full size towel?

Her trip was to an animal clinic for regular treatment of Parvo. I’m not sure if this was a shot or a pill but she had taken her Dalmatian mix puppy in a few times before. He was a bit squirmy but friendly and curious. This was a relief because when I saw this women coming out with this dog is her arms he was growling at some of the neighbors walking past. I thought, “Oh great, a nasty little mutt”. He was nice to me though. The owner was skeptical about his diagnosis. One of the symptoms of Parvo is lethargy. No problem there with this rowdy guy.

I’ve thought about calling the owners from now on and asking them about the breed. “What breed did you say it was? Retriever? Absolutely I take dogs.”

“Sorry did you say Chihuahua? No I don’t take dogs.”

I picked up another hospital ride later in the day. She was tall and lean like a basketball player. She couldn’t have looked more like an athlete if she came out in a mesh jersey and Jordans. I guess she was here visiting parents. Her home is in New York now and she’s a sports industry attorney. And yes, she played in the WNBA for a few years after playing at Duke. Naturally I wanted to learn more about her life. I would have liked a longer ride, 10 minutes was all I got. She had strong opinions on elite youth sports and even stronger opinions about the coaches and industry that churns them out like widgets. I’d defer to her experience but hearing that many of the coaches are selfish task masters wasn’t exactly surprising.

 I told her I sold sporting goods at a local store, so we’re basically the same. “You spent years playing professional sports around the world and practicing international law? I know exactly what you mean. I sell basketball uniforms to 8 year olds so I can SOOO relate girl.”  

Anyway she gave me a very nice tip and I thanked her profusely like a silly fanboy.

The theme this week was hospitals and animal clinics.

 I had one more drop off at an animal shelter in Tulsa, a veterinary student. She volunteered to increase her exposure and experience. I liked that she understood the importance of real world practice in the industry she was studying. A common complaint with industry professionals (in multiple jobs) is lack of practical understanding of the business from young graduates. This girl got it. I’m sure she’ll do well. I asked her what she knew about Parvo. She seemed confused “I’ve never heard of that” she said with interest.

Well, I might know someone who can help.

 

 

 

   

Growth and Striving

 

“How am I growing spiritually?”

 It’s a question that all Christians should ask themselves periodically. Treat it like a quarterly review at work. No I don’t get them either but I’ve had jobs where raises were based on performance. You start with a pretty meager hourly wage so making a good impression is essential. Impress the boss but don’t kiss up and make enemies of your fellow co-workers. At level 1 (that’s what I’ll call it) a good employee shows up for work on time, keeps the sick days to a minimum and does what he/she is told.

 Attitude is important too; no one likes a grumbler or a “bare minimum guy”. You know the type; they mop up the floor after a spill but only if told to, and very slowly. They avoid extras at all costs and never seem to be around when help is needed.

 Level 1 is a kind of baseline for everyone. If you can’t complete these fundamental requirements what good are you? But these are often where workers get tripped up.

The level 2 (clever titles huh?) worker aces level 1 and contributes on a larger scale. They don’t need to be asked to fix things or clean up floors. They understand when something is off or needs attention. When the toilet overflows they make sure it gets fixed by getting the right help or doing it themselves. They aren’t perfect but they can be counted on to handle responsibility that goes beyond just their job title. They get promoted easily because everyone likes to work with them, they’re team players.

For years I’ve transferred the idea of ‘good employee’ to spiritual growth, thinking incorrectly that Christians need to impress God and be rewarded with wealth, relationships and good health. I’d never say it that way of course, it’s too merit based and grubby. But underneath all the “God looks at our heart” talk, a lot of us are keeping score. We measure ourselves against others, sometimes unconsciously, and mark our progress the way toddlers measure their height on a wall with slashes.

Don’t misunderstand, our laboring is service and not obligation. Our strength to overcome the struggles of life comes from Jesus. When we stay connected He perfects us and our growth is easier when we follow His path. Here is John 15: 5-8

 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. ⁶ If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. ⁷ If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. ⁸ By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

 Our lives show God’s goodness and blessing, that’s our fruit. It’s the aspect of our character we exhibit to others around us. But we don’t strive for promotions in the competitive way like we do at work. John doesn’t say “abide and work hard on conquering you demons”. John is saying stay close to Jesus and don’t worry about the labor, the score, the progress.

 Step away from that wall that shows your last slash and let the Holy Spirit fill you. Our daily existence in Christ begins with humility and a Fear of the Lord. It’s Ok to track our progress as long as we understand the Christian life isn’t merit based. We don’t prove our diligence to the Heavenly Father and wait for the tokens when we’ve checked the boxes.

There is an inherent choice to make as a believer. As John says to those who don’t “abide” they are “cast out as a branch…” and tossed into the fire. The Father demands production of His children. We are given much and forgiven everything, but there is work to do. He needs us to reach the lost and the broken, the ones who might never know about His goodness without us.

That’s an awesome responsibility and not one we could ever work for anyway. It’s refreshing to lose our sense of striving for rewards and competing for affection. Forget about the levels and let the Holy Spirit build something you could never build alone.

 We couldn’t come up to His level, so He came down to ours.

He conquered death because we never could. What does He ask of us today? What is our service, our contribution, our job? Only this. . . abide, and let Him reveal your task so you can produce fruit for the kingdom.

The Dithering Heights

 

I hired the services of a website designer last night.

 I took the night off from driving Uber to work on my page. I’ve been stuck for weeks on trying to build out a decent looking website. It doesn’t need to win awards for creativity or feature video montages. A simple design with the option to scale up later is all I need right now. My progress is painfully slow and I work two jobs already. But even without the extra work it’s a slog for me. So I added my name to a directory where website designers contact you. I didn’t want to spend too much since I already paid for the space and a host. The Wordpress builder was giving me fits and needed to do something. 

Enough with the delay already!

Once I entered in my phone number on the directory I started getting calls. I went with the first guy and the first offer. Maybe not an ideal situation but I’d had enough foot dragging and needed to get moving. I’ve had this webpage put together in some capacity since March and no business to show for it. Not because no one responds to my half assed site but because I won’t promote it yet. Not that I haven’t solicited business. I have, but through other channels like Craigslist. I’ve let friends in the area know what I’m doing as well, at least the ones connected to local business.

There is always someone cheaper who can build a site for less. But eventually you have to get the thing done and stop dithering over the process. No decision is perfect and mistakes are part of it, but making no decision is worse. I realize I struggle with this, the whole ‘to stay or to go’ double mindedness. It’s almost as if the fear of doing the wrong thing overwhelms the fear of stasis. But the decision is to stay by default. I’ve made the choice to do nothing, which is still a choice. And it’s safer because I didn’t move forward. I didn’t pass Go so I’m not responsible.

If pressed, most of us would admit to some weakness of character we’d change in an instant if we could. For me it’s a general indecisiveness on life’s big and small choices. The why isn’t important. It’s a stumbling block that demands consistent pounding with a sledge hammer in order to break it down. Identifying the block is the first step; planning to break it up is the second.

If you’ve ever seen a weak leader you’ll know what I mean. He suggests to one group he is on their side and to another he expresses different emotions. He’s never tied down by anything so vulgar as a firm opinion. Better to delay, Hamlet like, and pretend to search for best course of action while really just avoiding the consequence. 

Some of us want to be liked, or more accurately we don’t want to be hated.

Decisions require taking sides and once you take sides, you alienate the other. That means the side in the opposite camp has good reason to not like you. But life is about making choices and leading. You can’t always sit in the back row and hope the teacher doesn’t call on you for an answer.

 I see a lot of reluctant dads who got “volunteered” to be the little league coach of their son’s team. The team needed one and no one offered. A few clever dads said they’d help out, assistant coach they call it. But the 'assistant coach' line on the form was a ruse. They got snared into the spider’s web hoping to just squeak by as the alternate, the help, not the main guy. They ended up the main guy and had to figure out how to make it go.

Suddenly they’re buying equipment and uniforms and listening to the other parents complain about colors and designs. Colors and designs that they (the ones who didn’t volunteer) could well have been in charge of. They come in flustered in the first year. The other parents can’t agree on anything. The pants don’t fit, the yellows are too yellow, the hat logos aren’t centered and look cheap. Some want to use knicker style pants and high socks like the old throwback teams of the 1920s. Tyler's dad wants the kids to look like Shoeless Joe Jackson.

My advice to the new, frazzled coaches is always the same. Don’t give the other parents a choice. Tell them what colors and styles they’re going to wear. Tell them which kid plays first and who pitches. Tell them what Your Lineup will be on Your Team. Tell them and don’t ask them. Once you start asking for advice or trying to steer the choices you’ll invite conflict. You don’t need to be brusque or make a scene, but let them know that you run the team and the decisions are yours to make. They can run their own team if they like.

I need to start following my own advice. It’s pretty good right?