Familiarity and Contempt: Crowds and Stress

 

I got off work tonight and took a pair of running shorts back to TJ Maxx. I've lost some weight so I thought I'd buy some smaller gear. Turns out I haven't lost that much.

 I tried to go Saturday but the smallish retail space was packed full of shoppers like the mall at Christmas. There were 4 or 5 checkout lanes all lit up so the business was prepared for the onslaught. Still, I don’t like shopping at all and anything that makes it more difficult is an easy pass for me. I walked in, looked around and promptly left. The word bubble over my head said “Nope!”

Some people hate crowds, others Really hate crowds. Usually I’m in the later camp.

There are exceptions of course. I went to a big fireworks show last year in Hot Springs with some high school friends. That 4^th of July we went to the bridge on the outside of town overlooking a big lake and watched an awesome display. I don’t mind crowds as much with friends and family. I’m about to head to Tennessee in a few days for a family reunion minus two brothers. On vacation I tend to soften my attitude to sharp criticism or aggressive behavior. If you can’t relax on vacation then when can you? I get that airports and shuttles and rental cars and hotels can be exhausting. What helps me is just refusing to get in a hurry. I take the attitude “I’m going to enjoy even if it takes a few extra minutes”. Life is stressful enough without putting extra layers of anxiety on top of what’s already there.

Driving Uber helps me calm down. Not that I always want to drive through the busiest time of night, 5:00 p.m. right after work. But I hate to rush. I make mistakes when I rush and accidents happen. I had a minor crash earlier this year after a very icy morning. I slammed into my curb on the way out of my driveway. I needed a replacement tie rod so nothing major. Still, I hurried out and hit the brake even after reminding myself that the roads were slick. That was a tough week for tow trucks. I tried to drive it to the dealership with only partial steering, another bad choice. I called a tow truck from the side of the road and they gave me a 6 hour window. Not their fault of course, mother nature had its way with Tulsa that week. Wrecker companies (do people still call them that?) were basically printing money.

The more reckless driving days I have the more cautious I become. It’s too expensive to be in a hurry.

I need to change my attitude in stressful and busy times. 

I’m working on a plan for reversing my negative attitude at work due to stress. Mostly I keep my complaints about customers to myself. I’ve tried hard not to let my occasional irritation bleed through in my expressions or demeanor. I’m not sure how much of my bad mood is work itself and how much is just my lack of knowing how to deal with it. I had a thought today. This has to be the last time I do this particular job. I legitimately hate sizing kids in uniforms all day, all summer long. Hundreds of kids will come through the door from late May to late July. All of them will need to try on something. Most are pleasant enough but the routine and familiarity from season to season creates disgust in me. It’s terrible to say I know.

Who was it that said “Familiarity breeds contempt”? that man did uniform sizing's I'm sure of it.

 Everyone works harder during the summer; it’s our busy season so we have to go with the flow. I’m not sure if I’d prefer to do something else but I’d sure like to try. I think my face to face customer service days are over. It’s like something I feel in my bones. It’s not that I’m nasty to them. But I think there comes a time, or maybe a season, where a person just can’t do the same job anymore. And I think I’m there.

Of course all of this could be just complaining about being told to work when I’d rather read news articles on my computer, but I don’t think so. I’ve worked enough jobs in life to know that all work on some level, at certain times is just miserable. It’s the nature of fighting against your flesh daily. The next 2 months will bear this out and I’ll decide if I want to keep going with this job or go a different direction. I’ve been here waaaaay longer than I thought already so I won’t be sad to go. But the Spirit leads in all truth and I want to go when the time is right. I want to go when I’m right. I’ll go when God says “Go”.

So what’s this got to do with crowds and hating them? It comes down to stress I think. I don’t like to be rushed and I’m rushed a lot in crowds. It’s just an emotion I need to control before it turns to anger. Between Uber driving and shopping trips I’ll be a peace guru before Christmas, when the real nuttiness begins.