Book Review: The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics

 

The Unity of the 1936 Rowing Team from Washington

When I first picked up the book I knew as much about rowing as I did logging in the Northwest. I suspect it’s this way for most people. There was a time, however, when rowing was the biggest collegiate sport in America, at least it was in certain parts of the country. In The Boys in the Boat: Nine American and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, Daniel James Brown tells a Depression era story of working class kids overcoming great odds and winning it all. It takes a great writer to resurrect the past just enough, and make Americans wonder why we hadn’t heard this gem of a story before now.

Brown tells the story of the rowing crew through the person of Joe Rantz, a Washington native. It’s both heartbreaking and encouraging to understand how someone can struggle just to feed themselves, while working their way through college. Joe’s father, Harry, left Joe to care for himself, abandoning him at the behest of his second wife. She didn’t like Joe. He was from Harry’s previous marriage and therefore not welcome. Joe was still in high school. The grueling days living in cabin and scrounging up meals built a toughness in him that made rowing a perfect fit.

The ‘Boys in the Boat’ teaches us how rowing crews come together and why unity is essential for victory. The University of Washington’s coach, Al Ulbrickson, relied heavily on George Pocock for some of the technical aspects of rowing. Pocock, a Brit, set up a business building and selling racing shells out of the University years before. He understood rowing, its spiritual and physical characteristics. He wasn’t a coach but could diagnose a problem with a team from afar. As a result of his eye, Ulbrickson relied on him at times to work on the phycology of his athletes. Joe Rantz was the recipient of this expertise for a time.

 Rantz’s freshmen squad showed talent almost immediately. They Beat the University of California, a perennial rival, at the yearly regatta in Poughkeepsie in 1934.

Ulbrickson made wholesale changes from the time the freshman won their first major race to the Olympic victory in Berlin. By the time they became the varsity crew, they’d been changed out so many times that they never felt secure. Their inconsistency almost doomed them. Eventually though Ulbrickson settled on a team with a smart coxswain and a strong lead. The coxswain, Bobby Moch, figured the most efficient way to win was to get into rhythm as quick as possible and ramp it up near the end. The boys wasted less energy this way because they were able to move as quickly as crews with a faster tempo.

Their secret was unity. The more in tune rowers are with one another, the less wasted motion there is. It’s why a lot of signature wins from the Washington boys were come from behind attacks. Moch keep them at a slower rhythm relative to other teams. The Olympic victory played out a little differently. I won’t spoil it, but Brown doesn’t disappoint in his tense, excited description. The boys from Washington, now representing the United States, had a few staggering impediments on the final race. One was a sick rower and the other, an unfair lane assignment. Al Ulbrickson complained mercilessly to the committee about the lanes 6 and 7 with their heavy crosswinds.

While the story is the Boys, there is a fair bit of history about the Depression and the Nazi’s grand display in Berlin. It’s impossible to talk about 1936 without detailing Leni Riefenstahl’s big vision for the Olympics. Her ongoing fight with Joseph Goebbels plays out against the camaraderie of the US rowing team. More than anything, the story is best when talking about the hardships the team experienced, rowing in the cold and getting comfortable with pain. It’s why Brown focuses so heavily on Joe and his hard scrabble existence that followed him like a shadow. Money is nearly impossible to come by. He even gets beat up by a game warden who catches him fishing illegally and selling the bounty for cash.

What comes together at the end is a true American story of triumph and overcoming odds. One of my favorite passages is near the end. It perfectly sums up the feelings of the boys and how the team had replaced the individual.

 “All along Joe Rantz had figured that he was the weak link in the crew. He’d been added to the boat last, he’d often struggled to master the technical side of the sport, and he still tended to row erratically. Bu what Joe didn’t yet know—what he wouldn’t, in fact, fully realize until much later, when he and the other boys were becoming old men—was that every boy in the boat felt exactly the same that summer. Every one of them believed he was simply lucky to be rowing in the boat, that he didn’t really measure up to the obvious greatness of the other boys, and that he might fail the others at any moment. Every one of them was fiercely determined not to let that happen.” (page 326)

I’m impressed with author Daniel James Brown’s exhaustive research. Much of the story relies on historical records from over a hundred years ago. He must have poured over countless newspaper headlines from the Washington papers to recount the races, times and weather details. The personal stories are always the best though, and readers will get a hefty dose of human struggle and triumph. Highly recommend.

 

 

Doctor Phil's Blind Spot: Too Many Opinions

 

I heard Doctor Phil on Joe Rogan the other day. Rogan’s talkathon podcast is quickly becoming a fount of information for my constantly humming brain. Doctor Phil is a great source for information about drug abuse, and fentanyl’s debilitating effect on the country. On this particular episode they talked about the nastiness and discord in the country right today. Also discussed, the craziness of transgender bullies and the danger of social media. 

Doctor Phil's show is in a lot of ways a public service, but like other successful people he approaches all conflicts the same way. Get folks together and talk it out.

He thinks all problems can be solved by sitting down and hashing out differences. Or at the very least, gaining an appreciation for other points of view. It’s a tired view of conflict and whose time has come.

 Blame social media all you want for ramping up conflict, it doesn’t excuse the fact that one side wants to destroy the country as founded. All of his homespun examples of ‘gettin along’ sound like breaking up a fight between boys at recess. This is fundamentally misguided.

First, not all arguments are made in good faith. Did male swimmer Lia Thomas become a ‘woman’ because he always felt like a girl, or did he do it to dominate collegiate events? We all know the answer. Pretending Thomas’ transition is anything but a charade is phony.  

Second, some arguments are built on faulty logic, misinformation and attitude. The only way to un-wire some people is by ignoring them, or by physically stopping them. I put climate change doomsdayers in this camp. They do outrageous stunts for attention, hoping to disrupt the lives of commuters and cause them irritation. They shut down subways, roadways and destroy art. They’re destructive like children when you ignore them. They deserve a good punch to the face, hard.

The United States is under attack from a global communist cabal. It’s working hard to dismantle our strength and unity. It hates law and order. It hates capitalism. It hates Christianity and the message of salvation, dignity and grace. It wants to enslave humanity. It uses as many points of conflict as it can to create wedges of separation.  

This isn’t one of those times where you find out what the other side wants. We know what they want, chaos. They want a revolution in sexual pleasure, immediate gratification and a lack of accountability for all of it. What part of that does Doctor Phil want to negotiate with?

This whole attitude reminds me of screaming kids at Target. Parents learn to negotiate with kids here. When did children start getting everything they wanted? I’ll give you the toy if you promise not to scream. You can hear it in Doctor Phil’s wondering out loud, but some views are just warped. Some opinions are faulty, illogical. As if all our desires must be met on some level. As if all our opinions have weight.

There’s probably a close link between wealthy societies and decadence. Entitlement persists, it’s in the air. It’s a poison that affects rich and poor. Stomp your feet loud enough and someone will attend to you. Decadence is the stage right before societal collapse I imagine. Rogan mentioned those kids throwing soup on art to protest some climate nonsense. Camera crews stand around documenting their every halfwit proclamation. Daytime TV dopes try to get them in a room to talk about their very important protest.

Twenty years ago I would’ve given Doctor Phil a break. Society hadn’t degraded to the point where letting kids choose their gender was the stock and trade of the Democrat Party. But he’s seen too much. At some point he’ll have to recognize this two sides bullshit is for a previous age. This isn’t a Right versus Left thing anymore. That might explain his reluctance to be righteously indignant. You either believe that children are a precious gift and we owe it to future generations to tell them the truth, or you don’t.

What truth do we owe? The truth about good and evil, and the truth about sin and consequence. The universe was created in God’s image, as were people. We don’t get to decide which sex to become, or which sexual identity to put on like a pair of boots. Sin entered the world when Lucifer fell from heaven. Since then, he’s tried to destroy God’s creation and confuse humanity. The evil that exists in culture is a direct result of Lucifer’s war against the Creator. We have to start there.

We live in a time of great confusion around the world. The time for milquetoast responses is over. Kids are at risk in this world of lies if we don’t fight for them.  

 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them

Romans 1:18-19

 

Justice Run 22

 

My first marathon is finally in the memory bank.

 From preparation to finish it was the toughest thing I’ve done. I’ve got a better idea now of what to do differently, and how to prepare more efficiently. In the preceding weeks, my friends and family asked me to list goals for the race. Mostly I stuck to my 4 hours and 30 minutes answer. That’s what I expected to get, running the practice pace I was used to running. It all depended on how much juice my legs had near the end of course. That’s always the x factor for marathons; how much is left in the tank after 20 miles? What about 23?

My real goal was completing the run, while actually running the entire thing. That I did manage. The 4:30 will have to wait though, the best I could swing this time was 4:50. I’m ok with that for now. I have a specific window next time to aim for.

This was a park run. Each leg was 6.55 miles. That meant for the marathon, we had to run it 4 times. The race organizers didn’t need to close roads or divert traffic. This was all done along the river parks in Fort Worth. Making it only 6.55 miles long allowed for greater control over the whole event. Each mile had a table with water, electrolytes and snacks. They staffed each one with volunteers and ran 4 wheeled carts between the tables all night to check on the runners. The best quality of running a marathon in a park is the flat surfaces. The hills were nonexistent.

My training has been in the morning for the last 2 years at least. The summer evenings make it impossible for me to get any distance in the heat, so I run early. This marathon started at 4pm, which was unusual but didn’t stop me from signing up. I knew the trickiest part would be figuring out what to eat and when. That turned out to be the biggest problem of the night. I didn’t eat enough before or during the race, my thinking being that an empty stomach is better. A full belly slows me down and makes me sluggish. That couldn’t happen. I opted to eat almost nothing. I don’t normally eat before I run in the morning, why would I change that for the afternoon?

The first half of the run felt great. I kept my pace just over 10 minutes a mile and tried to stay there. After mile 16 or so I started to feel it in the legs. I think my pace slowed down significantly after 20 miles, the last checkpoint before the turnaround. The exhaustion forced me to stop at every table on the way back just to catch my breath and fill up with water. It proved a much needed rest period before continuing to the next table. The finish was such sweet relief I almost cried. My brother and his wife and kids were there to cheer me in. We took a few pictures, and my health went downhill quick.

I threw up in a garbage can and tried to drink water and feel normal again, it didn’t work. My brother asked one of the guys at the information booth to give us a ride to the car. I was in no condition to walk. The guy at the booth was a doctor. He noticed my pale complexion and said I looked dehydrated. I allowed him to take me to the medical tent. They gave me an IV and called the ambulance. They gave me 4 bags of fluid, took vitals and sent me home. The whole affair was a little embarrassing, but I was grateful for the fluids and the care. My mom and brother met me at the hospital. It was after 2:00 a.m. when we finally left.

What did I learn? Eating during a run is a necessity. Those gels aren’t enough when you’re burning hundreds of calories every hour. No more starvation mode. This came from a habit of not eating during morning runs. Second lesson, take more electrolytes at the stops. I didn’t like the taste so I avoided them. Next time I’ll just gulp them down I guess.

There were a lot people praying for me to finish strong. I’m grateful for that. My final effort was otherworldly. I didn’t have enough in the tank, but somehow managed to come in jogging. Thank God for His strength. When I am weak, He is strong.

 

Fit to Print

 

Every time I sit down to do another political piece I get overwhelmed. The war in Ukraine is a perfect example. There is more going on behind the scenes than I can imagine. Even if I study for an hour just on the specific news of the day, how do I know that what I’ve read is true? Once you realize that most news and information is propaganda, it makes it tough to honestly write about anything. I don’t mind changing positions when better information is available but what if nearly everything I’m told is a lie?

Not a lie in the 100% bullshit way. No one can get away with that for long. You can’t tell me it’s raining in Oklahoma on a sunny, clear day. I can look out the window and know it’s a lie. But even as I write that, the president went on TV today and got a booster shot. He then proceeded to tell people that getting the shot would keep you from getting Covid and spreading it to others. It’s an easily verifiable lie! His own CDC told the nation almost a year ago that the vaccine doesn’t prevent transmission. We’ve known this. So it doesn’t give me a lot of hope that the rest of the news is correct.

Mostly what I see is skewed stories that show a kind of partial truth, but wildly miss the real thrust. This is willful of course but extremely frustration. I watched about an hour of a PBS show called Independent Lens last night. Broadly it was about the tech industry and its manipulation of private data. TikTok was featured heavily. It’s a Chinese app that the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) manipulates for their own citizens. In the US, Tik Tok is getting the can’t-be-trusted label because their servers are in China. We can’t really know what they are doing with all the data. But it’s a Communist country after all, the citizens have no rights and neither does private industry.

So far that’s fine. It’s true. But it’s also true of our own tech companies and only recently has Mark Zuckerberg starting dumping on Tik Tok. He didn’t make any inroads in China with his own platform, Facebook, and now he’s getting beat locally by Tik Tok. The film was upfront about this I thought. But all of these platforms work by collecting huge reams of personal data. That’s the trade-off that we’ve (citizens) agreed to in essence. They talked about shadow banning of individual accounts and outright hiding pages because of sensitive content. They only featured left wing accounts though.

As if, the Left isn’t allowed to share their content on Tik Tok without getting blocked or banned on a massive scale. They featured some high school girl who talked about the Uighurs in China. Tik Tok sent her a warning, then they disabled her account after multiple infractions. It’s a tragedy for sure, both the slavery of the Uighurs and restricting this girl from sharing it. But it pales in comparison to the manipulation of our own platforms.

The Right was summarily banned for nearly all of 2020 on most platforms. Facebook in particular, banned anyone from denying election results. Well, not the elections that Democrats lost of course, just 2020. That’s a lot of people and none of them on the Left. You can find a few individuals on the Left but it was a tidal wave on the right. They know this. The US government put pressure on these platforms to censor, ban or report countless Q followers known as “Anons”. All because they rejected the official version of the election, how is that different from what China does?

Some of the reporters tried to make a case that misinformation is a problem for regular readers. It's not. 

It's a problem for the government. It doesn’t want to compete with other sources. It wants to have the official version, just like Beijing. Whether the information shared is true or not is irrelevant. If Facebook wants to police it, good luck to them. But they’ve always claimed they aren’t responsible for what individuals put on their site. Fair enough …then why cancel so many people? They’re trying to have it both ways. When the government insists on something you do it or get punished. That’s what’s really going on with Facebook and Twitter and all the others. They don’t want to run afoul of Uncle Sam or get dragged through the courts like a pro life Christian at an antiabortion rally.

Having this Independent Lens show talk about the marginalized liberals was like explaining how the dust bowl was tough on livestock without mentioning the destruction of homes, soil and livelihoods. It’s not untrue but it’s a disgusting example of misdirection.

I wanted to write something about the Russia/Ukraine war but I don’t really know what’s going on.

The Rock in Times of Trouble: Psalm 61

 

King David’s Perspective on God’s Greatness: Psalm 61

I picked Psalm 61 because I appreciate David’s perspective on trouble. He magnifies the Lord to the point where his personal issues fade. It’s a wonderful practice for Christians today. “When my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (verse 2)

It’s a verse about perspective, but not in an intellectual way. This is all heart and passion and desperation. It’s the kind of thing you write when structures are crashing all around and you don’t know where to go. David’s Psalm provides us with the best window into his mind and emotions. He always reminds himself of God’s bigness in all situations.

God is a High Tower, a Shelter and a Foundation for all those who fear His name. When we examine all the ways God is bigger, we rest in the knowledge of His plan.

It’s true for kings, it’s true for us.

The Rock as a high place

The first attribute of God in Psalm 61 is His highness. Being high above allows us to see the whole picture clearer. As a kid we used to visit a small touristy town called Dubuque, Iowa for the scenery. Usually around the fall, the leaves change enriching its beauty and bringing tourists from all over the state. They have a trolley that climbs a track up a steep hill where you can see 3 states (Illinois, Wisconsin, Iowa) and the Mississippi River. It’s a stunning view. Everything else looks small and insignificant by comparison. Illinois and Iowa are mostly flat, farming states. It’s not often that we get to see such a distance.

Nothing changes in our circumstance when we get high up and take a look around. But our perspective shifts, enough to take on a new appreciation and a grander scale. When we allow God to be our high tower, He gives us opportunity to let Him take control. That act is one of faith, it’s made clearer by our perspective shift. In I Samuel 24, David gets a chance to kill Saul but decides to send a message instead. Saul is tormented by jealousy over David’s popularity. He took his men into En Gedi to find and kill David. Along the way he stops to use the toilet in a cave not knowing that David and his men are hiding there.

Instead of killing Saul, David cuts off a piece of Saul’s clothing and shouts at him. The message from that day was clear, “I could’ve killed you easily.” Saul repented to David after that. He realized his family was safe from retribution, a big part of the reason for the chase. David’s high tower moment came from within; God convicted him about even cutting off the piece of clothing. He said “The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, seeing he is the anointed of the Lord.” (1 Samuel 24:6)

Such was David’s reverence of God’s plan, that He wouldn’t harm the anointed servant. He writes “You’ve given me the heritage of those who fear Your name. You will prolong the king’s life, his years as many generations” (verses 5-6)

The Rock as Shelter

David’s second attribute of the rock is as a shelter. We’re all familiar with the value of a shelter. Whether in hiding from enemies or as a covering from rain, large rock formations cover us from the elements. I remember going to a popular picnic spot as a kid in a local park. We always went there in case the rain, a likely scenario in May, disrupted our plans for barbeque and hiking. The park had a nice open air shelter with picnic tables and grills just under the covering. On a few occasions we had to grab our food and tableware and high tail it for the shelter as a popup shower moved in.

Noah and his family understood the value of a shelter as the rain came and filled the earth. They were saved due to their obedience and trust in the rock. Coincidentally they landed on a rock after 40 days. A mountain chain in modern day Turkey is the likeliest place for it. The ark became a shelter from the deluge; because of Noah’s obedience, God provided a way through the trouble. On the other side of that obedience was new life, and a future he couldn’t have imagined before the flood.  

Obedience requires trust. David points to this in verse 4 “I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.” Noah’s trust that the rains would come and overwhelm the earth, seemed truly crazy. But only a lifelong closeness with the Heavenly Father will dispel doubt. The ark became a shelter for Noah and his family, not to mention the animals, but the presence of the Lord is our permanent shelter from trouble.

The Rock as a Foundation

David’s third attribute of God is as the immovable rock or foundational rock. What’s so important about an immovable rock? We can count on it to be there. 

In the storms of life we need something to grab onto that won’t be washed ashore. My favorite example of the immovable rock is from Daniel chapter 2 and his interpretation of Nebuchadnezzar’s dream. The king had an intense, meaningful dream that he didn’t understand. He called his soothsayers for help. When they couldn’t help he tried to kill them. Daniel stepped in and gave the interpretation. He saw a statue made of gold, silver, bronze and clay. It represented all the kingdoms of the earth. But a rock crushed it to pieces and grew into a mountain that filled the whole earth. 

The rock represents the Creator’s dominance over the whole earth. Kings and kingdoms rise and fall, but the God who put everything in place will reign forever. Notice too how important it was that the rock was not made from human hands. The other kingdoms were all built on human ability and intellect. The rock was here from the beginning. It’s immovable, permanent and unyielding.

Conclusion

It's particularly important to realize how much bigger God is than the current political climate. I think we are in a rock sort of period right now. In the next decade, God is going to upturn a lot of old families, castes, societies and governments. 

He is going to remind us again, that He is the Lord of all and His foundation lasts for eternity. I like how Elihu defines the justice of God “When He gives quietness, who then can make trouble? And whether it is against a nation or a man alone? Than the hypocrite should not reign, Lest the people be ensnared. (Job 34:29-30)

Psalm 61 is for us today. The chaos may come, but God is our Rock.

 

Rick Rubin's 'Coaching' Philosophy

 

The Inherent Creativity of Music Producer Rick Rubin

I heard Rick Rubin on the Joe Rogan Experience, the other day.

His name is familiar because I used to listen to a lot of metal. He’s produced records for System of a Down, Metallica, Slayer and many others. He’s worked with a lot of hip hop artists and even top 40 radio artists like the Dixie Chicks and Kanye West. The list is impressive. I assumed he’s kind of a studio genius because of his work, but he calls himself a coach. Helping artists find their path instead of setting up a specific route, is his style.

Be Receptive

The thing I got most from the interview, creatives need to change their process or setting or way of thinking on occasion. It’s helps to reset the mind so ideas can flow more freely. This is implicit in the interview. Writing is a creative discipline so I listened close. He recorded an album for the Red Hot Chili Peppers in a rented house. They had done 4 albums before Blood Sugar Sex Magik and had bad experiences in the studios. Rubin didn’t elaborate on why. He hinted that this might have been their drug phase. The point was, lets mix this process up and change the energy in the room. It’s a theory that’s worked well when bands want to get unstuck.

He's a feel guy, not a process guy. What that means to me is, he doesn’t have a plan or strategy when he sits down to record. It sounds like he gets the most of out of people by forcing them to think differently or feel differently.

Be Open to Change

I need to change something about my writing process because I lack inspiration most of the time. Not that I need to be inspired to write. Often it’s a slog that requires working through ideas until something sounds good. This works most of the time, but it’s limiting too. My words are flat for a long while until they start to round out with complexity. I start out with ‘See Jane run’ types of sentences. But new ideas pop into my brain, eventually. I don’t experiment with other environments because I like consistency. But I think a change in approach is exactly what I need.

The problem I have with feel versus process, is the seeming lack of discipline in feeling. This might be a stereotype. When someone tells me they just kind of feel things out I assume they’re lazy. Like someday they might not feel like working, or working a slow pace. But when a giant in the music industry says it, I take notice. It’s not a lack of discipline where Rubin is concerned. But he is more in touch with his instincts and keeps working the problem by testing and discarding.

Be a Fan

Rubin didn’t give one specific piece of technical advice. Other than his early work with LL Cool J and trying to record a raw sound, he talks purely about instinct. He comes off polished and almost seminar ready. I imagine the book he wrote forced him to evaluate his philosophy on creativity. Although the idea of the bearded Rubin at a hotel conference room pointing to a slide show paints a hilarious picture.

One more piece of advice that rang true. Don’t create for an audience other than yourself. This isn’t a quote. I’m paraphrasing because I like to personalize. He said he never created anything because he thought there was a market. He recorded hip hop albums because he was a fan of the music. He paid for a boutique pro wrestling company because he loves the sport. It never occurred to him to make tweaks or changes to appeal to the largest amount of people. Trying to figure out what people want is a recipe for disaster. When you lose the joy of making your own product, what’s the point? It doesn’t mean you can’t change course or come up with a better way to create. It just means, opinions from others shouldn’t decide your direction.

He summed up his ‘coach’ philosophy like this “How you experience the world is what makes you artist you are, or the creative person you are”.

Conclusion

Of all the advice people give, this one rings true to me more than any other. Rick Rubin essentially said, be yourself. It’s the most innocuous, banal piece of advice that you hear. It’s also the most worthwhile. Riches and fame are fleeting and difficult to achieve. If popularity is the goal you’re in it for the wrong reasons. Whatever “it” might be in your life. God created us in His image with unique talents of our own. Our creativity is a reflection of His design. When we work through our interests and take pride in creating, we Honor Him.

Now I just need to come up with ways to change my writing routine.

 

 

Fair Snare

 

I went to the fair yesterday for my usual one full day of bliss. Not really bliss, but I do enjoy the fair as an adult. Most years I eat too much and spend the evening trying to recover. This would be the year that I didn’t over do it. This time, I would be responsible.

 We hardly went as kids. There was no money for it and in Illinois the fair is kind of the last hoorah of summer. Bad timing with all the back to school shopping.  Here in Oklahoma it’s the first week of October and still feels like summer. I certainly went once or twice as a kid, but I remember it being a smaller deal. For some reason it all felt very no-big-deal-ish.

Probably because I live within walking distance, in Tulsa it’s a large-scale event that lasts 10 days. I’ve decided my favorite part of the whole experience is the livestock shows. A friend came over to my place and we walked through the livestock complex first, looking for horses or goats or pigs. It might be my mistake, but for some reason I thought there was a horse show. Maybe that’s not a state fair thing. We did see a pig show and a parade of malcontent sows. They'd rather not be on display I guess. 

Getting pigs to move in a particular way and stop when you want them to seems like miserable work. I think W.C Fields said something about never wanting to work with kids or animals. In this case the kids were leading the animals. Some kids looked to be about 8 or 9 years old, but experts.

We figured that the pig show was similar to a dog breeders’ show. The hogs are judged based on specifications of the breed. The judge gave a hilarious description of the hefty pig as being “athletic and feminine”. Oh, and she apparently has a “stout frame”. As funny as that was, no in the crowd seemed to disagree. They applauded the same as if their toddler just won a spelling bee. The ones in attendance probably knew exactly what to expect. There weren’t a lot of random city types gawking at the event like me. Most had either entered a pig or knew someone who had.

Same deal with the bulls. We got to sit in the open air stadium and watch the judges select the champion bull. They stood next to their handlers as still as possible. It’s remarkable to me that a human can lead such a massive animal around by the bridle. Some of the handlers were petite teenage girls. One in particular was having a hell of time keeping her bull still. He kept jerking his head around, obviously annoyed with the whole process. She handled it like a champ though, just walked him around in a circle until he calmed down.

I witnessed a sow giving birth in one of the indoor birthing centers. I imagine the hog farmers planned this timewise for such an occasion. The sow next to her had given birth to 8 piglets the day before, this one had 10 before we left. A crew of ‘professionals’ stood around helping the mother with the process. The girl doing the dirty work, getting her arm inside the birth canal and pulling out piglets one at a time, was a pro. She pulled out each piglet and handed it off to another girl who wiped it down while the vet clipped the umbilical cord. Of all the events to see, this was the best.

We did the usual food and drink stuff. I bought a Italian sausage with the works and had ice cream. Later I filled up on a funnel cake because, this is a fair after all. The last two years I’ve been seriously disappointed in the main course food. The desserts are always good but the meat is consistently dry and I struggle to find something that makes me seek it out every year. Maybe it’s never been great. The food is all savory smells and visual enticement but after taking a bite it’s like, why did I spend so much on this shitty sandwich/stick/burger?

It's mostly why I’m always ill after walking around the fair. The main course food is terrible so I fill up on sweets and sugary drinks. Yesterday was no different. I wanted a lime aid for the walk home. It would be my final purchase this year so I got a souvenir size cup. Yeah I’m a sucker. I spend the next couple of hours eating tums and trying to feel normal again. I didn’t even eat that much relative to other years. But the fair, in all its wickedness, couldn’t let me go without a kick in the stomach once more. I thought I’d gotten out this year unscathed but nope. Like the demon that took Gandalf down with a final snap of his whip, the fair caught me just before I climbed out.

Next year will be different, possibly.