Still a "Toys R Us" Kid

 I think most of us have a favorite store or restaurant we remember from childhood. Places we can map out from memory because our recollection is so vivid. For me it was Toys “R” Us, that famous franchise that went out of business earlier this year. 

Toys “R” Us was basically a third world arms bazaar for boys in the kindergarten to 4^th grade range. Sketchy salesman offering help as we gawked at the shelves stocked with the latest violent toys. “See anything you like?” they’d inquire. They had the best toy weapons, cowboy revolvers with ammo belts, automatic rifles, belt-fed troop guns, grenades, Rambo survival knives and handguns. Mercenaries could really stock up. At least that’s what I liked it.

We always got a warning speech from my mom in the parking lot before entering the toy mecca. She lined us up outside the store, with pointed finger and stern tones she blasted us with that mantra we knew so well.

 “If you touch anything on the shelves that’s an automatic spanking when we get home!” It wasn’t shouted so much as jabbed, with the help of the index finger, into our souls.

 It mostly worked, but common. Have you seen the glory that is a toy store through the eyes of an 8 year old boy? An entire building dedicated to the pursuit of happiness, aisle after aisle of joy wrapped in plastic. Shelves strategically arranged to capture the attention of children who’ve wandered away from their families in a daze.  Every action figure, bouncy ball, battery jeep, dinosaur set, race track, stuffed bear, machine gun and video game demanding attention. It’s war out there. Hence the pre-game talk my mom felt the need to deliver, expecting the troops to wander off along the way. 

My parents must have known the onslaught coming their way once the automatic doors pulled back and the displays came into view. 

The Cherry Valley Toys “R” Us was a free standing building away from everything but a few car lots, a Baker’s Square, and later a go cart track. This was 30 years ago so I am sure the area has changed quite a lot. Nothing could top the anticipation though of walking into the store, grabbing a shopping cart and marveling at the sheer amount of toys. I remember a long walk behind a cart wall when you came in and a slow turn before you entered the main floor. 

Stepping onto the main floor was like having everyone shout “Surprise!” before balloons and confetti fell from the sky. It was better than that even. I’d been here before. I expected the surprise. I knew right when the hanging car displays would come into sight and the giant ball stacks would became visible. I remember which section contained the guns and which one the video games. I remember where the bikes and battery cars just big enough for kids to ride 2 across were kept.

At some point video games took over larger chunks of the store. Always kept behind glass cases, they weren’t as memorable. We bought games as we got older. We had Nintendo, Super Nintendo and I guess 64. I was done with games after the Super. I just wasn’t a gamer.

I went to a Toys “R” Us a few years ago to buy a gift for my niece. It wasn’t the one I grew up with so my opinion might have been a little skewed. I reminded me of watching a movie I loved as a kid only to find out how bad it was when I became an adult. The shelves were a mess, the floors littered with scattered stuffed animals and bouncy balls. The ceilings were low, the lighting was bad, the employees were indifferent, the prices high. I can chalk up some of this to the season; it was Christmas shopping time after all. Some I can blame on the difference between being a kid and being an adult. Oddly it was the low ceilings that disappointed me the most. In my kid brain the place was so grand and stuffed with toys in every imaginable spot, practically bursting like a Thanksgiving turkey. I remember trying to work out how long it would take me to play with every toy there, my brain nearly seizing up from the infinite possibilities.  

But now here was this sad, small structure in need of repair and desperate for joy. What happened to my Shangri-La? When did the circus leave town? Was it ever really that great? The great toy destination had become a dumpy rental in a neighborhood with more graffiti on the buildings than original paint.

The whole spectacle was sad. Not because a grown man expected a toy store to be a happy place 30 years after he stopped playing with G.I. Joe. But because the idea that a single flagship store can house nothing but toys seems unlikely anymore. Walmart, Target, Amazon and other companies have gobbled up much of the toy business that it isn’t profitable to build anymore. Even the famed F.A.O Schwarz store (in Manhattan) where Tom Hanks did the piano dance in the movie BIG closed up two years ago. 

My criticism of their neglected storefronts notwithstanding, it isn’t hard to see what happened to the business. Bigger stores with more offerings made it impossible to compete; same as grocery, electronics and nearly every type of brick and mortar place. Toys took an extra beating from a consumer culture with a lot of electronic options. Toys across the country aren’t selling well anymore and smartphones are getting blamed.

Toys “R” Us went out of business earlier this year and even though they had been overtaken by Walmart in sales, it still limits the number of places for kids. They got into debt and just never recovered. I still think a massive store dedicated to toys can work again. It needs to have full on displays where kids and grab and test though. It must be a destination store, not a bargain place where people look for deals. I don’t know if it makes economic sense anymore but I imagine with the right plan it could really take off. There are a lot of young kids out who need a place like that to remember. It could be there happy place, even if their moms won’t let them grab stuff off the shelf.