Starting and Finishing

A wise man once told me “It isn’t how you start, it’s how you finish.” This was stated matter-of-factly in a thick Cajun accent. He had a smile on his face and a wad of chew in his jaw as he walked briskly past me. He wasn’t all that wise actually, but his quip was timely. I was in the push up position at the time with my platoon sergeant glowering over me, hands on hips counting. I can’t remember the infraction specifically. I’d been busted for drinking underage, sleeping in and missing morning formation and treating basic Army life like a ‘joke.’ I wasn’t a screw up but it took me a while to adjust to the disciplined life and follow orders.

 The Cajun laid out a brilliant philosophy on life and probably didn’t realize it at the time. If ‘it isn’t how you start’ than I still had a chance to turn my Army career into something worthwhile. To make a late push like an underdog basketball team in the NCAA tournament after getting 3 fouls in the first 5 minutes. To seize the chance and do the thing I’d always dreamed of doing, going to college on the GI bill. My non-start in the Army wasn’t the end of the line. I could still get there.

I quit dreaming too early. I don’t mean the kind of dreaming that doesn’t come with purposeful steps. That’s Bernie Sanders fluff. Achievers start with goals, written down physically accessible goals that stare them in the face before they go to bed at night. This is why mirrors make great message holders for those markers most of us have in a drawer somewhere. I’ve only recently come upon this phenomenon; by writing down my goals I am reminded of interests and expertise within the soul. Writing makes it more glaring.

‘It isn’t how you start’ is the positive part of the phrase telling me, others have walked this road before and had the same doubts. It gets difficult to squeeze in the hopes and dreams amid financial hardships and relationship breakdowns. But somehow they did it. They managed. One of the country’s most brilliant physicists, Ben Carson, grew up poor in Detroit to a single mother who relied on food stamps and government assistance. He is the quintessential late starter.   

Anytime in life I’ve needed a course correction, that saying is always out there in the ether. It’s a gulp of fresh air when success seems out of reach. I quit my job a few years ago with the possibility of a better paying more rewarding position with another employer. It didn’t pan out. I went back to the job I left and (basically) got my old position, it was humiliating. When I thought about far I’d come with education, travel and real world experience the process of coming back to the job I left depressed me. It felt like failure. It wasn’t of course because events in life aren’t linear and spaced out neatly along an X axis. Sometimes it moves in slow motion until the job, the degree or the relationship ends—or rather finishes.

The thing that saved me, what turned it around in my Army career was recalling why I joined in the first place. I reminded myself of why I wanted to be a soldier in the first place. Where did my start go wrong? The reasons were varied but all involved maturing. After that I just needed discipline. I started taking the Army and my role in it seriously. I became a student of the manuals and a leader in physical fitness. I developed good habits for time management and clean appearance. We all need reminders of why we do even the most mundane of tasks. Excellent people finish well.

The ‘finish’ in each part of life will reward us for the diligence we give to the task. It’s refreshing to know that life is so meritocratic; it wants effort and excellence before you can move on. The lesson about starting slow and correcting stays with me in work and life. The best advice for me came in the form of a spectator who was amused by my predicament. He shot a line toward me that he probably heard himself a thousand times and never really considered. On another day I might have rolled my eyes and kept pushing. He got me on that day though.

Another lesson from the day is this. Don’t ignore people in life who have your best interest in mind. There is a good chance they were in your position once. Especially if the position involves push-ups.