Life Training for the Negative

 

We all know our weak points in life. When the interviewer asks you where you could improve, you make something up don’t you? It’s easier than saying “I’m only here till something better opens up” or “I really don’t like people”. For me it’s negativity, I’m just too often negative. I think that last sentence even qualifies as such. If you’re willing to call yourself negative then, ipso facto…you’re negative. But admitting is the first step. Next is finding ways to work around the problem.

Mostly it means walking around it like a fallen tree across the trail. In practice it means finding something positive to focus on in the midst of the negative onslaught. Road ragers understand how this works. Instead of catching up to BMW that cut you off and swooping right in front as they lay on the horn, take a breath and let them go. Or maybe just glide past breezily and wave like an old neighborhood friend, big smiles everyone!!

Whatever it takes to ignore the blinding rage overwhelming you like a zombie infection, do that. Not that I would know. The good news is that weaknesses are fixable; negativity is easier because it’s less emotional. I did a quick google search for “how to fix negativity” to get a sense of what “experts” (bloggers getting paid in store credit) said about it. The first bit I guessed right, admit you have a problem. This holds true for most addictions as well. One way to tell if you might have a negativity problem is to ask people you work with, friends too. No one person is right of course but if a picture starts to emerge of a grumpy, dark cloud persona—take heed. I like the suggestion to “practice gratitude” for just about all situations.

Being around positive people makes a difference too. I worked for a guy who owned a landscaping company. I was in high school then and could only work on Saturdays. This man was distilled sunshine with spectacles and gray hair, he didn’t even have the facial muscles necessary to frown. We never had bad weather. We never had a lousy day. We never disappointed a customer. His reaction to any imperfect situation was to look at the positives. He would acknowledge the rain but say at least it wasn’t snowing, we could do most of the work a little wet anyway. He would acknowledge the cold but say at least the sun was up, we could get in a full day like that. On it went about nearly everything. It rubbed off on me for a little while at least.

At some point in life he practiced gratitude and it became a muscle he flexed whenever stress or anger or anxiety tried to test him. I used to think some people are just positive natured, but as an adult I understand how unlikely that is. Negativity is like weight gain, it happens when you don’t try. Positivity is like getting fit, it’s what happens when you put in effort and force yourself to improve.  Fortunately the Bible has some suggestions too.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8

 I think a misconception about excessive positivity is that it’s kind of childish, or pollyannaish. A faux cheerful demeanor and empty phrases are about as good as a caffeine kick, boost the good energy and overwhelm the bad. But so many things in life are designed, yes designed, to keep us in misery. We are vulnerable when helpless. We just want the bad thoughts to go away. It can’t be said enough, the scripture is the source of wisdom and happiness and good success in this life.

So seek it out on purpose because life gives us too many reasons to focus on the bad.