Cubs update

Offseason baseball.

So the Cubbies are done with Addison Russell as of today. It's been a few months since they played so the name isn't exactly top of mind. He was the shortstop during the World Series run and on the roster for the last 2. An amazing talent whose production slipped a little last year, he still held the day to day starting position. Most fans know about the domestic abuse charge against him. He missed 40 games at the start of the last season for 'incidents'. Fans usually get off the band wagon when they hear about violence against women or children. I'm one of them. Everyone deserves a second chance though and he didn't make excuses or blame anyone, that I saw at least. 

Everyone's team needs pitching because arms wear out, players slump and need surgery. Guys that dominate one season can slump for the next two, that's baseball. The Cubs are no different in that way, always looking for arms. I saw an item that I sincerely hope is in the works. The front office showed some interest in left-hander Madison Bumgarner from the Giants. He's only 30 and still has a lot of upside. I still remember his shut down performance against the Royals in the 2014 World Series. He pitched 3 games and managed a 1.03 ERA, ridiculous! I get that it was a few years ago, but the last couple of years he's had injuries, broken hand and a broken rib. The rib was from a dirt bike accident and the hand from a ball hit back to the mound in spring training. So just, you know, keep him off the bikes. Not much you can do about balls hit back at the mound.

I looked around for some tidbits and news on the North Siders, but it's a little early for baseball trades and roster additions. A lot of it is just filler and wouldn't make the wire during the season. For instance they hired an assistant coach. Big deal. I'm just depressed about the Bears and their lackluster performance this year. I thought they were better. They looked good Sunday again the Lions. Trubisky looked good with 3 touchdowns and almost 350 yards passing. More than any other player he needed a good game. Sadly it's too little, too late to get on a streak. Either the Packers or the Vikings would have to lose almost every game till the end of the season for a playoff shot; I don't see it happening.

Raking Leaves and Giving up the Weekend

Raking leaves is a part of fall I hate, especially when they're wet and heavy. They clump together like old newspapers left out in the rain. The only benefit to wet leaves is that they pack into bags better. Condensed and flat, you can get twice as many in a paper sack. The cheap bags will soak through every time. Dry leaves are light and crunchy but tough to cram in. Here in Oklahoma we use plastic bags instead of those tall square paper bags doubled up like grocery sacks. They're clear as well instead of black; I guess so they can tell if you stuffed any paint cans or used motor oil in there. Not sure why we don’t use the giant paper ones. I've never been able to find them.

So yesterday was my twice yearly rake-a-thon. Why twice? Because the front yard trees drop leaves before the back. When I first moved here I raked and bagged, almost always at Thanksgiving because most trees are still full before that. In Illinois I’m sure the leaves changed color much quicker but I’m not sure how much. My guess is 3 weeks. But even with the faster change in season, we still worked right up till Thanksgiving for landscaping. Most of the work was done by early November but my boss always kept a few customers back until very late.

The first year that I moved to Oklahoma I raked it the typical way, small piles strewn around. Then I walked pile to pile and packed the bags as tight as possible trying not to poke holes through the sides with twigs. It’s exhausting as everyone knows.

The second year I took the lawnmower over the leaves and make a few passes to mulch them up. Overall the mower is easier but not much quicker, less bending over. But my mower is old and doesn’t plow through as well, it smokes and belches like an old Ford Pinto. I can’t pick it up with the catcher either. It’s a pitifully small net that fills up in two passes. I don’t want to stop the mower every time and empty the bag.

This year I went back to raking little piles and scooping them into plastic bags with both arms. Until I get a larger mower I expect I’ll do it this way. The back yard will be ready in about a week, maybe a little more.

 It’s funny how some things get easier as you get older. You figure out work arounds, shortcuts and best practices. It doesn't seem to apply with raking leaves. I tried using my brother’s leaf blower as well. It didn’t help. I’m a bit of a novice with the blower so that probably added to the longer than usual time. But it took the same amount of time as using the rake.

So why all all the bellyaching about a routine chore every year? I only really got one day off this week and half the day (exaggeration) was spend working on the yard. I think I still have this childish notion that I should get, no “deserve”, a full uninterrupted day of football games on TV and maybe a nap. It’s silly I know. We aren’t promised any free time or ‘just taking it easy type days’ no matter how much we want them.

Friday night and Saturday were taking up with a weekend church thing, the culmination of a men’s group that had a retreat feel. You know the kind, soul searching, finding purpose and dedicating yourself to ‘better’. I hope I’m not being flip. It’s a true joy being with like-minded purpose driven men and women. But it does cost something in time. Worth it for sure.

Something tells me I’ll get the time back. God is good that way.

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12 ESV)   

The Mafia and the Chicken

If something is important to you it isn't negotiable. So what are we to make of the chicken franchise getting backed down off their long held fight over private donations? They used to donate money to The Salvation Army and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes or FCA. Today they made a decision to stop because pushy LGBT groups kept them out of big cities like San Antonio and Boston. There has hardly been a sillier reason keeping a business out. The mob won. Chick fil A buckled under pressure to let outsiders tell them where their money should go, or at least where it shouldn’t go.

In 2012 CEO Dan Cathy made statements in an interview condemning gay marriage. The online mob went after him and threatened a boycott. Christians (and other supporters) everywhere lined up around city blocks and parking lots to defend them. Principle won that day. Chick fil A won because they showed that it’s possible to have values and stick to them, and Christians applauded the effort. The mob retreated.

Mobs always come back though, especially in the face of weak leadership. I didn’t realize it before but Chick fil A quit giving to a handful of groups after the 2012 boycott. They stopped giving to Exodus International and the Family Research Council a few years ago. Chick fil A makes long term agreements in their giving. So if they make a 10 year commitment to a charity, they honor it. The donation agreements to the Salvation Army and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes were up at the end of last year. In order to get into other cities, or at least to not have mobs descend on your business, a deal was needed. 

Chick fil A rearranged its giving in two ways. First, they’re not giving long term commitments anymore, probably so they can quickly pull back money in case of a controversy. Second, they’re discarding those 'unsavory' Christian charities, Salvation Army and FCA, and giving to much less offensive ones. Homelessness and hunger are far less likely to bring protesters out to hold signs in front of your store.

I should have seen this coming. They did give in to pressure back in 2012 and stop supporting some groups that openly opposed gay marriage legislation. The support and bravery of their stance (a very small one in the larger picture) meant that they were a champion in the culture wars.

Some of my friends snicker at the idea of ‘culture wars’ an ‘exaggerated’ reason to get offended where nothing is really at stake. I’ll admit that much of it is heat and noise, designed to rally troops and causes; we don’t need to go to the mattresses every time another tradition is ripped away like a loose band aid. If Chick fil A were defending tradition for tradition’s sake I’d say ignore it. But they made a decision to stick by principle with the full knowledge that the choices might keep them out of certain markets.

Now their efforts and bravado seem silly.

It’s like they said “Remember that boycott that brought supporters out in droves and turned us into one of the largest growing companies? Uhhh…nevermind.”

Maybe Chick fil A bothers you because they're pro-traditional marriage. But mob behavior works both ways and might eventually come for something you value. Where is your line? What are you not willing to surrender on? I think everyone needs line, a set of ordered principles that no amount of money can influence.

 They threw it all away to get into a few big city markets with mafia-like gay lobbies that continue to treat them horribly. 

Certainly they’ll gain new business, but will they also lose some too?  

Impeachment Stuff

 

I listened to about 30 minutes of impeachment testimony on the radio Friday. This one is feels very partisan. There isn’t a crime, at least not one that anyone can name and these witnesses all seem to have the same angle on the Ukraine situation, that Trump used ‘irregular channels’ with Zelensky. Big deal. Presidents’ can use any channel they want. They establish the direction of foreign policy and can change it on a whim. Whether going around the ambassador is a good idea or not is best left to the voters.  

The case for impeachment hangs on whether or not Trump withheld aid to Ukraine until they coughed up dirt on Biden. But we already know Ukraine got the money without any giving up any Biden info. There was a delay in releasing the money, but is that really worth this? So the committee hearings are just State Department officials complaining that Trump left them out of the diplomatic process. Trump went around them because he doesn’t trust them.

 He survived an attempt to prove that he colluded with the Russians in 2016 to steal the election. Robert Mueller’s report (which took a ridiculous 2.5 years) showed no evidence of collusion and left the question of ‘obstruction’ hanging in the air.

Forget that obstruction was beyond the mandate of the Mueller report, the FBI team handling the probe committed serious errors. A reckoning is coming very soon on the corruption (Comey, Mccabe) that launched the Mueller report.

A lot of Trump’s reluctance (in my opinion) to use regular channels is he doesn’t trust these agencies.

 His administration is clumsy with sensitive matters. He uses poor judgement and has no discipline; he lashes out through Twitter and changes his mind and attacks the nearest bureaucrat. He is a mess, but this back and forth with the Ukrainian president is within the range of acceptable diplomacy. 

There is a lot more in the phone call about the DNC's missing server and Crowdstrike than Joe and Hunter Biden. Trump thinks Ukraine might have some information on this. Who knows?

 During the call he asks Zelensky to look into Hunter Biden and whether anything illegal happened when Joe Biden got the investigator fired. It could be damaging to Joe in the upcoming 2020 race, which is probably why we know about it.

Impeachments aren’t just about criminal behavior; Congress is within its right to impeach on even trivial matters but if they push too hard they’ll hurt themselves.

The trick is to convince the American people that Trump’s phone call was so egregious it demands impeachment. I don’t think it’s going to work. Will these hearings convince Democrat reps in red states to vote in favor? It matters less what he is accused of doing and more about whether they can make a case. Even if Trump is impeached it’s unlikely that the Senate votes to remove him. The Republicans run the Senate and they aren’t likely to toss him out.

He’ll be the only impeached president to run for office if he actually loses the vote! This might be the beginning of impeachment as a regular political tool but I hope not. This Ukraine thing is petty. It’s obvious from these civil servants testimonies that they are offended at having their ‘authority’ usurped by the president. 

We all get territorial about our position, even small things. I worked with a person whose job was to order office supplies and day to day items for the business. I hated going to him with a suggestion about anything. “Can you double up the post-its next time? We are out of forms, can you get a few more?” Every suggestion or request was met with a heavy sigh and a reminder of how busy he was. Problems were dismissed out of hand as ‘not important’ or ‘not my problem’. He didn’t like sharing responsibility either, lest we figure out how easy it is and get rid of him. Most offices have these types, they protect their work and guard information.

This looks like what’s going on with Ambassador Yovanovitch who Trump trashed in his phone call to Zelensky. Whatever his beef, he could fire her for wearing too much makeup if he wanted. Presidents can do that. I think if he had cleaned house right after coming in some of these bureaucrats wouldn’t be such a problem. There are too many ‘threatened’ departments protecting their turf and handling information in their way. Attempts to go around them are seen as offensive.  

The 9/11 Commission Report  (remember that?) concluded that intelligence agencies didn’t share enough information. That lack of sharing, or “siloing”, created an environment where credible intelligence leading to an attack on the World Trade Center was overlooked. We still see a lot of turf protecting today.

Hulu had a show last year called the “Looming Tower”. It showed how the CIA held on to critical intelligence that should’ve been shared with the FBI.  I have no idea how accurate the show was but the performance of Peter Sarsgaard (Martin Schmidt) is brilliant. An unappreciated genius who thinks his knowledge is superior, he hides information from others so they can’t get credit. Worst of all he thinks he is outside the chain of command, a decision maker unto himself. The point isn’t how right or wrong Martin is but how his arrogance transcends cooperation. He is allergic to oversight, contemptuous of other views and calculating to a fault.

So it’s a turf war with a twist. Adam Schiff plays out his hatred of Trump through the familiar idea of turf war and tries to makes a gamble that he can get the votes without alienating large swathes of the public. If he swings too hard people will show up just to vote against his party and all of Trump’s complaining about “witch hunts” and “fake news” will be true. Voters will see it that way too.

  

Up and to the Right

On running, I like to evaluate data points.

 I like to compare last year’s highs to this year’s. I’m not obsessive about it. I don’t write any of these numbers or times down. I have a working total in my head. I know when I’m up; I know when I’m down. As long the overall picture of success keeps improving and pushing for better, I’m doing what I should be.

 I guess if anything sticks out it’s that I’m kind of settling into a comfortable routine, 3 days a week with a long run on Sunday. I’m a little worried that this level of comfort will lead to complacency but it’s taken a while to get here and I don’t imagine I’ll throw it away. There will be weeks when I don’t get as much running in due to weather or injury or sickness, but a missed day here and there won’t throw me off that much. So far this winter is shaping up to be a cold one (by Oklahoma standards). Cold I can deal with but wet and stormy is a terrible mix and I hope we avoid a lot of the miserable days.

I’m back to getting hitting the gym before work instead of after. The change works better for me; I get up earlier now and coming home right after work gives me a lot more time to listen to podcasts and write. Going to bed a little earlier is a necessary adjustment. I thought getting out of bed a full hour earlier would bother me but it hasn’t, especially now that we’ve turned the clocks back an hour.

I might start running outdoors during the week. The downside is I live in the city and during the week the traffic is overwhelming. I don’t like jogging 5 or 6 feet from rush hour traffic so I would have to stay in the neighborhood. I’m not crazy about jogging in my neighborhood, too many dogs. It’s a true city neighborhood anyway, small lots and no sidewalks. I don’t have as much time during the week anyway. Sundays are fine for running through the city; I go early and the traffic is basically non-existent before 8:00 am. I use the treadmill at the gym which I used to hate but have actually gotten comfortable with.

The big race of the year is coming up and won’t be able to do it. The Route 66 Marathon (and Half Marathon) happens every November, usually right before Thanksgiving, and friends who’ve done it swear it’s the most fun they’ve had at an organized race. I’m committed to a church event the same week and although it sounds like a volunteer thing I could get out of, it’s actually pretty important so I can’t blow it off. I’m fine with it. I don’t live for these races the way some others do. I’ll join one when I can but I don’t exercise to compete. For me the joy is in making improvements and getting better, taking a look at where I was a year ago and drawing a line connecting the two.

As long as the line is still up and to the right, I’m happy.

An Exercise In Non-humility

I just read about an interesting discovery exercise, the kind of assignment these leadership gurus give to sleepy eyed participants. Write down a few achievements you are secretly proud of. These can be silly anecdotes about fixing a plumbing problem no one else could solve, an innate ability to answer sports trivia, or an undefeated streak at your basement fight club. For me, I would answer differently depending on the stage of life I was in.

 In my early twenties I was proud of finishing my college degree. Many people get degrees but for someone who wasn’t a great student, it meant a lot more. I wasn’t a bad student really. I did most of the work and turned in the required assignments but my ACT score was very low and I only took it once. It ensured that I wouldn’t get into a 4 year college on the first try. It’s a good thing though because I wasn’t ready for a full slate of work. Community College was more my speed at first. I eventually got to a University but struggled to find a rhythm, get to class consistently and do actual research.

One such hurdle was the level 1 math class I had to take for credit. If my post high school standardized tests were low, my math scores were in the basement. I had to do more than just show up this time. There would be little help in a class with 100 others. I put a routine in place right away; the first hour of every study day was dedicated to math homework. What was easy for most others (friends called it retard math) was difficult for me. I stood up while doing the homework. We had a kitchen bar for meals that I turned into my problem solving spot. I must have read somewhere that standing helps with focus; I never fell asleep mid problem either. I got through it. I did the work and finished the class. 

In my thirties I was proud of my teaching trip to China, even though it only lasted for one year. I stretched myself to learn in that time more than ever before and probably since. It’s also the kind of thing I can point to and say “Yup, I took a chance. I was lost and confused and disoriented a lot of the time but I did it”. I think the uniqueness of it stands out because it was very much outside my comfort zone. I had to navigate a world in which I didn’t speak the language and had very little help. From subway signs to buying food, tickets and asking for directions, I mostly traveled alone. Fortunately most Chinese are happy to help a confused white person staring aimlessly as a guidebook, I’m sure this is still true. Looking back, I’m surprised at how much problem solving was involved in everyday life.

The idea with all of this combing through proud moments of life like a former high school quarterback, is to find out why you’re proud of them. What is it you like most about yourself in that situation? What about that moment is worth remembering? And most importantly, how does it demonstrate the ‘best’ you? We are supposed to use this discovery as a means to pursue other careers, friendships, adventures, money making enterprises. Maybe it won’t work for everyone, but like a lot of thought experiments it’s designed to drag the mind and inspect the debris that surfaces.

It there is a theme for me it’s this, I’m always prouder of things that require persistence. The things that stand out are ones requiring grit and determination. There are plenty of activities I’ve attempted and quit too, it isn’t like I finish everything I start. I can remember joining a few softball teams (Army and college) and deciding after a few games I didn’t like the sport. Or I’d get drunk the night before and skip practice. But the ones I did finish after a long ordeal go into the secretly proud category. Why ‘secretly’? Mostly these are things we don’t run around telling everyone, they aren’t secretive really. The goal is to give yourself permission to be a little braggy and notice a trend, or not. Apparently I’m most proud of myself when a good deal of persistence is needed to finish.

Maybe a secondary point to all this is to never disregard areas of life we are proud of, even if they aren't traditional achievements. The author who turned me on to this exercise started a successful business magazine that was easy and fun to read like Sports Illustrated, instead of the dry newsletters circulating at the time. He said he had read every issue during the time he was supposed to be doing research at the school library. He funneled his interest of sports into a magazine for Silicone Valley companies. 

Maybe a little non-humility is all we need.

Renewing the Mind--Again

“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through periodic bouts of joy.” WB Yeats

I read through one of my usual blogs today (hard at work obviously) and that quote popped up. The funny lines always conceal a dark truth. Forget the Irish part of it, some of us wear sadness like a raincoat. But not just sadness, more that life is out to screw us; an impending sense that trouble is just around the corner.

Tragedy can play out in compulsive grumbling, but mostly it’s a personal view of life where the arc of the future is forever descending. The Yeats quote sums it up perfectly. We all experience joy on occasion, but for the tragic person it’s like an intermission to an exhausting opera.

A tragic person sees life like a pinball game. Everyone doing what they can to keep the  ball banging around and slamming into bumpers that light up and slides that move it quickly through a maze of buzzers and sounds. Others are just better at punching the flippers and keeping the game going, they can go long stretches on one ball. Some of us never quite figured out the timing of the flippers or just figured we weren’t lucky. The ball rolls through the middle slot every few seconds, as we angrily jam another couple of tokens in the slot.  For some it’s win big and score high. For tragic people it’s lose and score low.

Why do some do so well while others suffer to just keep the ball going? Pinball is a game, a contest designed to separate winners and losers. Life doesn’t work this way despite our penchant for comparison. We don’t all play the same game.

At some point the persistent feeling of coming up short feeds an already low self-esteem a steady diet of negativity. The sense of loss permeates everything from sports to finances. When the Bears miss the playoffs it’s because “We can’t pick any good players” or “We always fall apart in tough spots!” The fortunes of our teams run parallel to our own. The weather is cloudy and cold on our day off, you’ll probably get sick too because of your allergies. You didn’t have the grades for a 4 year University and had to settle for a junior college. The car you bought cost more in repairs than the sticker price, now you’re upside down. You didn’t have insurance either when you hit the curb and smashed into neighbors’ mailbox. Then you failed a sobriety test after the accident.

 “Hey, You’d drink too if your team lost, and your college rejected you, and you were always sick!”

Blaming people and events and upbringing creates a barrier, nothing positive gets through. But small victories build gratitude. When gratitude picks up steam it builds even more gratitude. Suddenly loses aren’t quite as grim. They don’t carry such ‘eternal’ weight. They don’t determine our worth as individuals.  

 A teacher once showed me how to study for test. She said condense the material into chunks and celebrate after I’d memorized a chunk. Celebrate could mean getting a snack or taking a break. I thought it was silly but I did it. Breaking up large amounts of information into manageable study units worked great. I didn’t celebrate, seemed a little like getting a trophy for showing up, but I did acquire a better way to learn. It’s a great way to approach life too. An appreciation for victories no matter how small replaces that negative feedback loop of failure, with one of success.

That’s the practical part, the listing of things so you check them off part. You need to change your mindset as well, which is much tougher. It’s never finished either. Renewing your mind is a lifelong journey that begins at the cross. You need to understand how God sees you and let His truth transform the image of yourself, rooted in failure and tragedy.

Open the Bible and read a chapter or two. If that’s too big of a chunk then study one verse. Here is a good one “For I know the plans I have for you” says the Lord, They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jerimiah 29:11 NLT).   

The point of all of it really is that life falls into place in the order that it should. Important things like family relationships and spiritual growth become central. Most important, you’ll understand that sense of foreboding for what it is, lies (malarkey?). You won’t see life as a pinball game anymore with some just better equipped to play. It won’t be a contest you’re destined to lose. Hope replaces tragedy when you put in the work and focus on renewing the mind.