Golden Corral and Buffet Food

 I Survived A Night at Golden Corral 

I went to Golden Corral tonight. I haven’t eaten there in years. As a kid we always went to buffets constantly. Actually it’s as close to fine dining as you get as a kid. When you have 5 siblings it’s just the best option. I remember the food being tasty, but how discerning was I as a kid? Lunch and dinner were always subpar at Golden Corral. I don’t remember them being this awful though. I’ve avoided going there for years because I knew the steaks were fatty and tasteless. Any of the sliced meats were risky. Not because they were undercooked but because they had no flavor.

 What possessed me to give it another try?

I wanted a hearty meal, comfort food as they say. Cracker Barrell would’ve been a better idea, but some part of my mind betrayed me. The mashed potatoes weren’t bad, you soak them with gravy anyway. The desserts were passable but the pot roast was fatty in spots and tough in others. I gave up cutting into what felt like a rubber ball and pushed the plate away. The mac & cheese was bland. The fajita chicken was dry and the vegetables were hard. I’ve never had a good meal at GC. But on a low scale, you know what you’re getting into when the group you’re with says “I vote for Golden Corral tonight”. You can make the best of it and select dishes that aren’t total crap. But for some reason, my brain glitched enough to where GC sounded like the perfect fit.  

With most willfully bad decisions you can claim a small victory. “I didn’t want to get drunk last night but Frank was in town! He’s always so much fun” What’s the upside with Golden Corral? The best you can hope for is to eat a reasonable amount instead of the Thanksgiving plus size portions you’ll put down. After that you’ll have mini food coma, if you don’t lie down from the stomach pain before that. Come to think of it, being hung over is less consequential.

 In my defense it had been probably 10 years since I’ve had dinner there.

I remember it being a typical buffet restaurant, low quality but passable. My old rule was that breakfast at GC was the best option of all three potential meals. It’s hard to screw up eggs and bacon. Even the biscuits and gravy tasted like something created in the kitchen instead of a frozen pack, opened an hour ago and warmed up. Potatoes are either hash browns or home fries, thankfully there is little to create. Just make sure the seasoning lands on the warm parts. 

And like most buffets you can always find a dish that suits your taste better than most. But dinner is tricky for some reason.

This isn’t true with the Chinese buffets. They aren’t fine dining either, but there are at least hot dishes with flavorful crab and noddle casseroles. If you go on a Saturday or Sunday the hosts rotate the food on a regular basis so it doesn’t get rubbery. Besides, Chinese buffets aren’t THAT Chinese. Most of them carry a few pans with American staples like meatloaf and sliced ham. In other words, I can’t think of reason to ever go back to Golden Coral. I’m putting it on the never-again-unless-family-demands-it list. It will sit right below Cici’s Pizza for the same reason. Both are suitable for holidays or special occasions. During those times you have to go to places that cater to large groups of families with kids.  

As expensive at eating out has gotten, I’ll have to learn how to cook. My resistance to cooking so far has just been the time it takes. When I get home from work I want to eat. I don’t want to spend 45 minutes making a meal. That’s why the crockpot is the best option, it’s ready when I get home. The grill is another possibility. I cook in the summer more than the winter though. Anyway, I burned out on brats and grilled chicken. I’ve cooked too much before, by the 4^th day of eating the same smoky flavored meat I’m ready for anything else. Also I don’t have a gas grill anymore. My incident from a few months ago ended my gas range for good.

Charcoal takes longer, is messier and requires fresh bag after fresh bag. You replace charcoal a lot more than you replace a gas tank. I’ll have to look for a new one after Christmas. It’s not difficult to plan meals for the week if you take the time. But I never want to take the time. Cost is going to change my mind eventually. I can’t keep going to GC and expecting a quality meal. They’ve lost me.