Moving on From Mistakes

Learn How to Fix Mistakes and Move On

What’s the best way to respond to a mistake while everyone waits with bated breath to hear your excuse? Depending on your personality, diffuse the situation and move forward as quickly as possible.

I’m a guilty by nature type.

Work is the best example of this. If a customer calls and says they never got something they paid for, I usually assume I forgot to order it. But that’s rarely the case. I make my share of mistakes, but I’ve gotten better about noticing the details that normally lead to them. I’ll investigate the issue and find a perfectly reasonable explanation. Either the customer didn’t pay, or they ordered something entirely different. Sometimes the item in question isn’t even within my purview. Another employee handled it and didn’t tell me. Customers miss our follow up phone calls frequently as well.   

Why then do I so often assume the worst about me?

My best guess, I’m trying to soften the blow if it turns out to be my mistake. I’m not sure if everyone gets as humiliated as me when they make a mistake. Those boneheaded ones are the worst too. You know you messed up so bad and so obvious, there isn’t any way around it. Incompetence stares you in the face and laughs, Nelson Muntz like at your flailing, incoherent explanations. People who hate being the center of attention, REALLY HATE being the center of attention. That’s me by the way. When you’re screw ups are on display it heightens that nervous energy to a fever pitch.

 Being the main attraction is uncomfortable when being acknowledged for helpful positive feats. Say, rescuing children from an apartment fire set by a careless smoker who dozed off. Your cringe responses are at least understandable.

“Umm…Well… you know…just doing my duty” you say bashfully after coughing the smoke out of your lungs. “Anyone would have done the same.” You can even add something about the children being our future or something to give your banal comments a little more heft. But you’re much happier when the questions cease. You can rest easy when inquiries about your heroic efforts abate. Being asked about your failures however forces twitchy, irritable responses. That’s on the mild side. On the other end of the axis is extreme prejudice. It comes in two forms, explosive and distant. Here it depends on the personality of the accused.

Explosive responses should come with red lights flashing and Defcon 5 alarms squawking with abandon. It’s about to get loud. It’s characterized by notes of self righteousness and a ‘how dare you’ tinged bitterness. Speeches will be made. Speeches about the level of hard work and lack of recognition. Speeches directed toward the accuser for their tone, lack of respect or negativity. At this point it’s a shout fest and regret begins to show up like a sun burn after a day at the lake. It’s embarrassing to lose it in such a public way. How many road rage incidents have you witnessed while driving past and thinking “How did it get that far?”

But when you get caught in an obvious screw up you can either look like a puppy who’s been whipped for peeing on the floor, or a grumpy old Cocker spaniel that snapped at the neighbor. Neither is good. In the first case you’re weak, in the second you’re not worth the trouble. In the case of a distant response to a blatant failing, you look uncaring. People might get the impression that maybe you did it on purpose. Or at the very least, you’d rather be doing anything else than working. Your cold responses give off a ‘so what if I did?’ vibe. Those that know you, know it’s a ruse. It irritates you more than most realize, but the low key “whatever’s” and shrugs obscure the boiling energy inside.

 In some cases, playing it off like you don’t care is the safest way to go. If you don’t do well operating at a high temperature, it’s for the best. Anger, especially the ‘righteous’ kind, can poison working relationships for a long time. Best to bite your tongue and if necessary, play it cool. Fix the problem later, when the internal caldron isn’t about to erupt. Say “I messed up” and move on. Most people are forgiving if you give them a straightforward, no excuses apology. It’s humiliating I know.

 If you hate being at the center find a way to manage it. Walk into another room and pretend to look for something. The more stressful situations you’re in the better you learn to manage them. Like anything, practice makes perfect. Remember, the explosive scorched earth response is the hardest to come back from. It’s like a train derailment. The wreckage can stretch for miles. You have to work with these people, so take a deep breath and settle your scores later.

Be safe out there.