About Time for Leisure Time

 

Leisure's Great Deception

We all spend our free time doing what's most important to us. It changes with age, money and family station every few years. The recognition that time is short forces us to jettison stuff for relationships. 

I had dinner with some friends at church. It was one of those volunteer meals where the church rewards its helpers by putting on a spread. The feast was a Tex Mex buffet, tortilla shells, beef, shrimp and chicken. Not to mention Tres Leches cake. Most of us ate too much. When you offer free food in mass quantities folks take notice.

I’m new to this crew but dinner makes it easier to make friends. One man I talked to has a freelance photography side hustle. Business has been slow with Covid but starting to recover. I told him how I wish someone would help me with my pictures. I always regret taking the ones I do. I don’t’ realize it until I’m ready to put them in a frame. By then it’s too late.

If I just had more time I’d like to learn to take pictures, I’d be great.

I told him that but I’m sure he was like, ‘yeah I get that a lot’. Everyone wants good photos but few of us want to put in the time. It’s easier than it used to be with the digital cameras.  I never had a camera that needed film but I remember watching my parents struggle to load the roll properly and lock down the lid.

Never Enough

Wanting to get better at taking pictures made me think about how many other things I’d like to be good at if time were no option. I never learned Chinese enough to tell anyone I can speak it. I’d settle for an elementary level vocabulary and understanding. That’s quite a lot actually. Any foreigner with an elementary level of Mandarin will go far in China. I like tennis too. But my skill level is somewhere between aggressive toddler and “You might be better suited for Rugby, Sir”. Remember Melos from Seinfeld? He would destroy me. I’d like to spend a couple of hours every week improving my game.

Throw in Golf too. I want to improve my game. Anytime I hear a sermon from an unfamiliar Bible verse it reminds me that I haven’t studied the scriptures enough. An extra hour every day would go a long way toward helping my grasp of the Old Testament at least. Two hours extra should help for the Now. I would need a few extra weeks each year strictly for travel. There are so many places I’ve never been in the US. It’s not fair. Two weeks per year would be enough I think, throw in another week for international travel.

Level Field

Time is the great equalizer. Someone said that. I could look it up I suppose, but would the quote be rightly attributed anyway? It’s a safe bet that no one under the age of 40 said it. At a certain point in life you realize what everyone realizes, you only have so much time. A wealthy landowner lives as long as a high school teachers. Your hobbies and interests will follow your priorities. If you consistently put your golf game ahead of attending your kids’ track meet you’ve established priorities. Same for going to the track meet, it’s in the priorities. They’re different for every person.

In our modern society we have cheat codes that allow us to focus on certain events at the expense of others. A whole range of service industries exist to take care of life’s chores. Lawn mowers and carpenters, auto mechanics, accountants, dog washers, dog walkers, all allow a sort of cheat. The service economy keeps expanding and providing us with options, if not more time. Of course we can’t pay for all of them so we prioritize some more. The ones who order food deliver might never pay for a dog walker. Others will pay a nanny but never a house cleaner.

We could say that priorities make the difference but really it’s time. Cheat codes allow us to move things around but not live longer.

No Workarounds

One of my favorite episodes of the Twilight Zone is of a book lover (Henry Bemis) who never has time to read. It’s off limits and work and even at home. His wife won’t even let him read the paper. One day he sneaks off into a bank vault to read and hears an explosion. He emerges to find the city destroyed in a nuclear blast. He stumbles upon a collapsed public library with books strewn across the ground. After making plans to read and arranging stacks according to a schedule the eager book worm drops his glasses and shatters the lenses.

 It’s a brilliant inversion of the time paradox, Bemis actually does have the time but lacks the resources. Humans aren’t meant to have all of our needs met. Lack makes us go, and work and make choices about life. How much time can I spend reading or mowing the lawn or learning a new language? How do I weight that against family stuff, sports, events, school? Whether time or resources we’ll always want more of whatever is missing.

 Be Grateful

Most of human history before the mid-1800s was, in the words of Thomas Hobbes nasty, brutish and short. Scientific understanding of disease, and how to treat it, increased life expectancy. Much of death was from disease and kids suffered the most, pushing the averages downward. Free time for intellectual pursuits was the prerogative of royalty and their connected patrons. That we have time for leisure at all is a small miracle.

The best thing we can do is make a choice and deal with the consequences. Recognizing the finite nature of time helps us to simplify our wants. Suddenly those skills, classes, sports and TV shows will matter a lot less. 

Time is gift. Choose wisely.  Have more conversations. Eat Tex Mex and sponge cake until you can’t move. Go on long walks with friends and help others whenever possible. It doesn’t sound exciting but it really is. For me it's people over things and let the choices fall into place.