Bits of Weird

It’s the little things in life that irritate, befuddle, confound.

 We all have quirky elements of character that regular people shake their heads at, bits of weird really.  Some of us are rule Nazis about board games. Any deviation in standard practice creates a seismic shift in gravitational pull of the earth. Some wear black socks like it’s the only color option. With athletic shorts and sandals? yup. With board shorts and tank tops? yup. With undershirts and boxers? what else. There doesn’t need to be a deeply held reason either. Some quirks just feel right.

 So here is one of my bits of weird. I need to carry everything in from the car in one heaping trip. Mostly I go to the gym or run after work so I’m usually sweaty and gross, not to mention irritable. The day is ruined however, if I can’t strategically carry all my goods safely into the house in one go. It’s not an art exactly but it must happen in the same way or precious time is wasted on an exhaustive second trip to the car to scrounge around for items not worthy to be carried the first time. Generally I throw the sweaty towel over my neck first.

Second come the keys from the ignition but I can’t pocket them. I need them for the door so they have to stay in my right hand. If it’s dark out, this is critical, I must select the door key while the light from the dashboard is still on. This can go south quickly. A fumble at the doorstep and I’ll have to set everything down and search in the dark for right key. Then I have to pick everything back up in the proper order once the door unlocks and stumble in.

After picking the right key and holding it tightly I reach for the morning’s empty coffee cup, usually tucked under the front passenger seat. I hate leaving things overnight in the car, another weird thing. Then comes the wallet from the center counsel and the frequently neglected phone in the cup holder. Both go in the front right pocked of whichever shorts I happen to be wearing.  Next I tuck the cup gently under my left arm. I’ve lost a couple of nice mugs this way so I’ve learned the right amount of pressure and movement. It’s a delicate balance. I move around the back of the car (SUV) and pop open the hatch. I sling the laptop shoulder bag and the gym duffel over my left shoulder, this way I still have a free hand in case I happen to have a bag of groceries or a watermelon. One bag is the limit though because I only have one free hand, the other one holds the all important key. If I can carefully close the door with the key hand I’m basically home free.

The last part is the approach up the steps and to the door. I don’t dare get cocky though.   The most common screw ups are trying to grab the mail from the mailbox with the key hand and subsequently dropping the key into the darkness, tripping on the steps and dropping the mug and laptop on the concrete, or trying to press the car lock bottom on the key fob and letting the house key slip down the ring and having to find it again. It’s all an exhausting bit of choreography. My angry outbursts are completely uneven to the gravity of the situation though. I’m getting better.  

What I can’t quite figure is, why do I feel the need to do it one trip? My car sits roughly 8 paces from the front door. Maybe it goes back to when I lived in an apartment and had to park 50 yards or more from the door. Maybe it’s a particular interest, I did NOT say obsession, with efficiency. Whatever the reason I get too upset about silly things in life that aren’t that important.

I’m learning to be more grateful for health, both physical and mental. Also grateful that phones and laptops and lights actually work in this country. The electricity is reliable and the gas, cable and internet come right into the house. The grocery stores don’t run out of food, unless there is a tornado on the way in which case you should’ve got there earlier. The roads are paved, the sewers run underground and the trash is collected every week. We can worship freely and say almost anything in public. A lot of us own cars and houses and toys like boats and swimming pools and motorcycles. We take vacations to places where often, the little things like electricity, gas and phones don't work as well.

Gratitude for stuff and gratitude for condition goes a long way toward easing stress over daily problems, real and imagined. Being grateful for little things in the same measure that we stress out over them is the antidote to anxiety. The quirky bits of weird are just part of who we are. We accept it and move on.

Sometimes you have to break a few coffee mugs to realize it.