Anthony Bourdain

Anthony Bourdain died a few days ago.

 Suicides are always so tragic. For stars, the loss is magnified though by an empty feeling that we will never again see their work. I think the old adage that people who commit suicide are mentally ill is being upturned on an almost daily basis. With celebrities we often know so little about their personal lives that isn’t negative, it’s hard to sort out truth from fiction. Just because they are popular figures doesn’t mean they don’t have the same struggles as the rest of us. The fame, money, prestige likely creates internal conflicts about what is means to achieve. Many get to a high point in life and realize, “This is it, I’ve made it and I am unhappy”. I'm not making excuses for them, just describing an alternate reality most of us will never know. I wonder how many self-reflect and internalize their progress and think about their achievements. It’s fair to say enough people (rich and poor) never find the illusive happiness that leads to contentment.

As a Christian I know exactly what is missing. It can’t be found in fame or prestige; it can’t be created through hard work and winning. Happiness is only found in surrender. A life surrendered to Christ, His sacrifice and grace can only occupy the empty space in our souls. How sad that so many don’t find it despite their tireless efforts to seek within themselves. We were never meant to create our own joy. Human beings are the handiwork of the Creator and not meaningless clusters of cells. It’s difficult to realize that too many people will never experience true freedom in their minds.

Bourdain went quite literally around the world in search of good cuisine, cultural anomalies and interesting personal stories. I was a huge fan of his show, both his Travel Channel epic "No Reservations" and his later CNN docu-series "Parts Unknown". The latter one focused more on history and culture, with a side of food politics. Tony could be a bit annoying when spouting lefty gibberish but I never held it against him. It was his story and we were free to shut it down if we didn’t like it. Plus he had a gift. He was a talented writer and always struck the right tone when encountering new food and cultural anomalies. He was masterful when interviewing locals about cuisine or recounting historical contexts around art and politics. His open minded attitude toward drugs caused him to battle addiction early in his life. Years of abuse take their toll on the mind and (I believe) contributed to long term depression. If not a clinical depression, certainly a deep sadness led to his tragic decision to end his life.

I think the most telling episode was his visit to a small town in Massachusetts that had been destroyed by heroin addiction and lost industry. The small city is a microcosm of all the former industrial towns that saw their jobs disappear and a generation of young people get hooked on substances. Tony followed a recovering heroin addict around for backstory on her life while recounting the city's recent history. He sat with her in a meeting (recovery group) and admitted his own addictive behavior. That episode might be the saddest, most poignant example of our current state of affairs in this country. It strikes a chord very close to home for him and for Americans in general. I’d rather watch episodes with colorful cooks and all night benders in Asian cities that never sleep. But the other side of that indulgence is the reality of artificial happiness it creates. We need to see that too.

The hope for me from these sad spectacle suicides is an awakening of sorts in matters of spiritual awareness. Kindness and empathy can go a long way toward recovery in individual lives. National programs can be helpful, but nothing is as personal as a friend.

I’m sure Anthony Bourdain had people around him who knew he had problems and encouraged him to get help. I’m also sure though that many accepted him, warts an all, and never bothered to dig a little deeper and offer help. It could be that Bourdain was a selfish jerk who didn’t care what anyone though. Either way, it’s tough to speak truth to people and risk losing their friendship or even a job. But without it, hurting people hit the wall. Those broken individuals may never understand that people around them care enough to tell them the truth, to offer help.

Likely those contemplating suicide give signals as to their struggles. The lesson for all of us is to listen more and be a friend. Ignoring problems isn’t love, it’s indifference. Sadly too many of us are indifferent, right up to the moment it’s too late.