Familiarity and Contempt: Crowds and Stress

 

I got off work tonight and took a pair of running shorts back to TJ Maxx. I've lost some weight so I thought I'd buy some smaller gear. Turns out I haven't lost that much.

 I tried to go Saturday but the smallish retail space was packed full of shoppers like the mall at Christmas. There were 4 or 5 checkout lanes all lit up so the business was prepared for the onslaught. Still, I don’t like shopping at all and anything that makes it more difficult is an easy pass for me. I walked in, looked around and promptly left. The word bubble over my head said “Nope!”

Some people hate crowds, others Really hate crowds. Usually I’m in the later camp.

There are exceptions of course. I went to a big fireworks show last year in Hot Springs with some high school friends. That 4^th of July we went to the bridge on the outside of town overlooking a big lake and watched an awesome display. I don’t mind crowds as much with friends and family. I’m about to head to Tennessee in a few days for a family reunion minus two brothers. On vacation I tend to soften my attitude to sharp criticism or aggressive behavior. If you can’t relax on vacation then when can you? I get that airports and shuttles and rental cars and hotels can be exhausting. What helps me is just refusing to get in a hurry. I take the attitude “I’m going to enjoy even if it takes a few extra minutes”. Life is stressful enough without putting extra layers of anxiety on top of what’s already there.

Driving Uber helps me calm down. Not that I always want to drive through the busiest time of night, 5:00 p.m. right after work. But I hate to rush. I make mistakes when I rush and accidents happen. I had a minor crash earlier this year after a very icy morning. I slammed into my curb on the way out of my driveway. I needed a replacement tie rod so nothing major. Still, I hurried out and hit the brake even after reminding myself that the roads were slick. That was a tough week for tow trucks. I tried to drive it to the dealership with only partial steering, another bad choice. I called a tow truck from the side of the road and they gave me a 6 hour window. Not their fault of course, mother nature had its way with Tulsa that week. Wrecker companies (do people still call them that?) were basically printing money.

The more reckless driving days I have the more cautious I become. It’s too expensive to be in a hurry.

I need to change my attitude in stressful and busy times. 

I’m working on a plan for reversing my negative attitude at work due to stress. Mostly I keep my complaints about customers to myself. I’ve tried hard not to let my occasional irritation bleed through in my expressions or demeanor. I’m not sure how much of my bad mood is work itself and how much is just my lack of knowing how to deal with it. I had a thought today. This has to be the last time I do this particular job. I legitimately hate sizing kids in uniforms all day, all summer long. Hundreds of kids will come through the door from late May to late July. All of them will need to try on something. Most are pleasant enough but the routine and familiarity from season to season creates disgust in me. It’s terrible to say I know.

Who was it that said “Familiarity breeds contempt”? that man did uniform sizing's I'm sure of it.

 Everyone works harder during the summer; it’s our busy season so we have to go with the flow. I’m not sure if I’d prefer to do something else but I’d sure like to try. I think my face to face customer service days are over. It’s like something I feel in my bones. It’s not that I’m nasty to them. But I think there comes a time, or maybe a season, where a person just can’t do the same job anymore. And I think I’m there.

Of course all of this could be just complaining about being told to work when I’d rather read news articles on my computer, but I don’t think so. I’ve worked enough jobs in life to know that all work on some level, at certain times is just miserable. It’s the nature of fighting against your flesh daily. The next 2 months will bear this out and I’ll decide if I want to keep going with this job or go a different direction. I’ve been here waaaaay longer than I thought already so I won’t be sad to go. But the Spirit leads in all truth and I want to go when the time is right. I want to go when I’m right. I’ll go when God says “Go”.

So what’s this got to do with crowds and hating them? It comes down to stress I think. I don’t like to be rushed and I’m rushed a lot in crowds. It’s just an emotion I need to control before it turns to anger. Between Uber driving and shopping trips I’ll be a peace guru before Christmas, when the real nuttiness begins.

Psalms 7: King David's Pattern

 

If you look close you’ll pick up on an order to the David Psalms.

It’s not present all the time or in the same way, but there is a pattern. He begins with a specific prayer for rescue from enemies and evil doers. He follows that with a commitment to hold himself to the standard of the law lest he be guilty of some personal sin. Third, he begs God to honor His word for the sake of His people. Fourth he reminds himself and others of the Lord’s righteous judgement. It’s like saying, don’t worry nothing escapes Jehovah. Lastly he gives thanks for victory.

Psalm 7 is a good example of this. The order really jumped out to me. Here is the first 2 verses, and David’s prayer for rescue “O Lord my God in You I put my trust; Save me from all those who persecute me; and deliver me, lest they tear me like a lion…” The Psalmist is desperate for God’s protection in time of stress.

 Security is the first concern of leadership, threats to your life are especially daunting. Without a measure of safety it’s impossible to do anything else, it’s a helpless feeling. During the Iraq war the US set up a “Green Zone” in Baghdad with hard checkpoints miles out. Why? They couldn’t conduct any other part of the war without first getting a secure area for their war planners, ambassadors and functionaries. David knows God’s protection is the starting place for comfort.

Next is his realization of his own sin. This is the honest ‘search my heart’ prayer that’s necessary when demanding retribution. A lot of us carry bitterness we aren’t aware of, not to mention jealousy or wrath. “If there is iniquity in my hands, If I have repaid evil to him who was at peace with me, or have plundered my enemy without cause, let the enemy pursue me and overtake me” This is what the Fear of the Lord looks like. David has too much respect for the Jehovah’s law.

 It sounds a little like confidence to me too. He is showing the Heavenly Father a pure innocent heart. Ever been truly wronged without cause? It makes you want to show your cards a bit like “Hey, I’ll show you my phone records if it helps your Honor!” You’re in the right and you can’t wait to prove it.

The next part sounds to me like a kid reminding his dad of that trip to Disney he promised but has yet to deliver on. I imagine an emotional David saying “You promised, remember? You did!” It’s not frustration as much as impatience. “Rise up for me to the judgment You have commanded! So the congregation of the peoples shall surround You; For their sakes return on high.” (verse 6-7) Part of this is the heavy responsibility that comes from the well-being of others. I don’t know if David is a king yet but he is thinking like a leader. He knows the importance of divine justice for those who’ve suffered.

In our culture we’ve lost a bit of this idea of a God that punishes the wicked, ancient cultures did not. Probably because of our comparatively peaceful existence, we put more emphasis on forgiveness. In David’s time small invading armies could wipe out a people overnight. Most were one heated battle away from destruction or captivity.

God’s judgement is swift but slow. “God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day. If he does not turn back He will sharpen His sword; He bends His bow and makes it ready. He also prepares for Himself instruments of death; He makes his arrows into fiery shafts.” (verse 11-13) Remember too that this is the God of the Old Covenant with the Hebrews. It’s important for those who have suffered serious injustice to know that Yahweh fights their battles, for us too.

There is a reason those from war torn societies, usually believe in God. They need to know that an eternal judgement is due those who practice violence against the innocent. When famine wipes out populations and genocide ruins tribes, it helps to know where hope is.

The psalmist finishes with giving of thanks for the yet unseen victory. “I will praise the Lord according to His righteousness, and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High.” (verse 17). It’s important to understand that David isn’t just ‘getting it off his chest’ in cathartic sort of way. There is some usefulness in that for sure. If you haven’t sat down at least once and blasted out an angry screed in writing, I’d recommend it. I always feel a little better afterwards, just don’t, you know... hit send.

He reminds himself always of the bigness of God. That’s the point of it all. David understands that God will rescue, comfort, punish and fight the battle because He has done it before. The praise isn’t premature; it’s recognition of the victory yet unseen.

Not all of the Psalms reflect this exact format, but you’ll see elements in nearly every one. If the pattern worked for David it can work for us.

How Woke is the Military?

 

I did a quick google search for “military effect on manhood”. The top sites on the first page were all about the negative effects, not exactly what I had in mind. Google’s usefulness is often what it leaves out. Searches should tell us where the culture is on a particular issue, increasingly though it tells us where we should go.

I wanted traditional views about military service and manliness, or how the rigors of Army life encourage maturity in men. No such luck. I just went for manliness instead, seeing as how all the military and manliness articles are mostly negative. Not much better, most are about how manliness is toxic or how masculinity is a construct to be examined like a dead frog in a biology lab. I wanted to contrast the traditional with the modern and show a dramatic difference. But since I can’t do that I’ll just post the views of the new commander at Fort Carson and let you decide which one he fits into.

Here is how he describes himself on his Twitter bio: “Combined Arms Battalion Commander. Infantryman who loves tanks. Fervent anti-racist and anti-sexist. Views my own. He/him. Trying my best.”

This page screams woke. He even put his pronouns in there! This is the new Commander of the freaking base, not a colorless HR spokesman. Naturally I saw the need to contrast this weak man with a traditional leader without going back to George Washington. Even General Mattis (as Def. Sec) for all his tough guy talk recommended keeping transgender soldiers in service and recruiting more. Eventually he supported president Trump recommendation to eliminate almost all transgender soldiers from service. That he couldn't see for himself how destabilizing mental illness can be to morale is beyond me.

So this new LTC (Lieutenant Colonel) Andrew Rhodes of the base at Fort Carson reportedly said “If you’re a white male you’re part of the problem”. I hit the ceiling. This isn’t a dopey professor at a small liberal arts college in New England; this is a leader in the Army. Thankfully there is an investigation.

Has the military really gone that far into the abyss and been transformed into this? Is it the schools than? Do West Point and Annapolis and Colorado Springs attract these woke students? I can’t believe that the greatest fighting force the world has ever seen is this far from its history as defender of freedom. Soldiers are patriots or they wouldn’t bother. Ok so not every kid that joins is a flag waving Republican from the heartland. But he isn’t a Marxist revolutionary either. The language of “intersectionality” and “Critical Race Theory” and “Gendering” is now part of military esprit de corps. God help us.

A few weeks ago a Lt. Col was removed from his post as Commander of the 11^th Space Warning Squadron. Apparently his interview about his new book was seen as too partisan. He wrote about creeping Marxism in the military, ironically enough.

In March the Biden administration introduced a ‘diversity and inclusion’ czar to deal with the elite forces like Delta and Rangers. Just what those toxic males need, some non-gendering language questionnaires to sort out their aggressive behavior.  I prefer the marketing of my youth. Whether the Marines and their ‘Few and Proud’ ads or the Army with their “Be all You can Be” campaign, there was an unmistakable challenge to excellence. 

Contained in each ad was the offer to be a part of the best and become the best. It said this heritage of service goes back to our founding, it’s sacred and requires duty from citizens. It defeated Communism during the Cold War and National Socialism during World War II. It saved the new Republic from an invading British fleet in the War of 1812. It preserved the Union and made sure slavery ended with the Confederacy. We didn’t do it alone but we are the indispensable country to individual freedom around the world. The global order depends on it.

Critics will say my complaints are overwrought nonsense and the essential character of the armed forces is the same. But can we afford to be so blasé about such a critical institution to peace and security? Not a chance. Who would you rather go to war against, a nation full of hardened soldiers or one that talks about inclusion and race? Who looks to be the more challenging foe, one that touts its training and toughness or one that obsesses about pronouns and gender?

I’m not saying our military is shot through top to bottom with snowflakes, just the opposite actually. There is an attempt by left wingers running the country to gut the armed forces of its patriotic men and women in positions of leadership. This should be obvious by now and it has to stop. I don’t know where to go from here but without the nation’s defenders we’re like a fortress surrounded by cardboard walls. It looks imposing but with a little push it collapses on top of itself like a false religion. 

Next time I do a search for masculinity and the military I’m afraid Google will bring up pages on ancient history.

image taken from: https://laptrinhx.com/news/the-military-industrial-complex-is-going-woke-W72AlQQ/

Prayer for Comfort

 

A witnessed something jarring this afternoon. A man clinging to a fence overlooking a highway, had set his mind on jumping to the interstate below. I passed by in the turning lane and the guy in the F150 put on his hazards and got out. He signaled to me that he was going to talk to this guy as another man had found his way on the walkway over the overpass. A small crowd formed on the other side of the fence intent on helping this man. I had just picked up a customer at Quik Trip, with Uber, and I considered getting out as well. I opted to keep going because it seemed enough people were helping out. I did the best thing I know how to do at that moment, pray. The passenger in back noticed the jumper too. Our conversation on the military (we are both veterans) stopped at that moment and for about a minute the situation felt very tense.

 I never found out what happened. As I drove off a small crowd had gathered but I never heard another word. I prayed under my breath for the next few minutes for the man to have a change of heart.I checked the news later to see if there were stories about Tulsa closing the highway or a man threatening to kill himself. Thankfully nothing came up after a quick search.

Even without knowing the result I’m touched by a few things. The gentleman who stopped his truck and hopped out to help, no hesitation in him. Another shirtless passerby who looked like he might be homeless himself, appeared to be talking the guy down. Others got out of their cars as well. I saw one asshole on a motorcycle who took his helmet off to say “Jump Man!” I'm pretty sure I saw a few people taking pictures or video with their phones, so callous. The best and worst of humanity summed up in one incident, heaven and hell battling for the soul of this man, who felt the need to end his life. Satan drove this guy to contemplated suicide, through a failed relationship, an addiction or just a loss of zeal for life. Possibly this man was off his meds and struggled with Schizophrenia or Depression. We should not be confused that the enemy comes to “steal, kill and destroy” and uses every tool to that end.

I resumed my conversation with the passenger in the back, both of us sharing a little bit of ourselves and our experiences in the military. My heart wasn’t in the conversing. Thoughts of the near jumper standing on that ledge with his feet halfway over the edge and his fingers white knuckling the fence still penetrated my head. Should I have gotten out and talked to him? Prayer is the most powerful tool in any event, but it still makes me wonder if I should have done more.  

Help me to learn from the incident Lord and not be fearful or indecisive in the face of certain trouble. I guess a part of my rethinking of the incident is personality. Some people look inward assuming they should have done more, been more or said more. Writers break down their actions into thoughts, after the fact, and pick the thoughts up like pieces of fruit to be inspected for quality and consistency. It's exhausting but it's how I've been trained, journal the incident and figure out what went wrong. 

Life is sacred. Evil is real. The earth is the Lords but Satan controls it and twists the minds of men to do his bidding. Suicide is rooted in a lie that we aren’t enough. Combatting the powers in this earth demands a commitment to God’s kingdom. I’m certainly more aware of it every day and I don’t believe I passed by that bridge on accident. But with every close call I’m reminded of the importance of being rooted in Christ.
“For though we walk in the flesh we do not war according to the flesh.” (2 Corinthians 10:4”)

Sometimes there is no good answer to a bad situation. Prayer is both offense and defense in the face of certain trouble. Even for those that look inward first, God is always there and always active.